Denise Billen-Mejia 0:07
Welcome to Two hypnotherapists talking with me, Denise Billen-Mejia in Delaware, USA.
Martin Furber 0:13
And me Martin Furber in Preston UK.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:16
This weekly podcast is for anyone and everyone who would like to know more about fascinating subject of hypnosis and the benefits that it offers.
Martin Furber 0:24
I'm a clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist,
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:27
I'm a retired medical doctor and consulting hypnotist.
Martin Furber 0:31
We are two hypnotherapist talking.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:34
So let's get on with the episode
Angela Farlam 0:39
Okay, cool.
Martin Furber 0:40
Here we go. Welcome to to hypnotherapists talking with me Martin Furber and Denise Billen-Mejia, and this week's very special guest - Angela Farlam, all the way from Australia.
Angela Farlam 0:53
Thank you, nice to be here.
Martin Furber 0:57
So, Angela, tell us where you are in Australia.
Angela Farlam 1:00
I'm on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, which it's not been very sunny for weeks, we've had really unusual weather and it's been torrential rain, but it's normally sunny.
Martin Furber 1:10
So we're truly international today. I'm in the UK. Denise is over there in Delaware. The sun is just rising as it is. Is it just setting where you are Ange? Or is it already set. Tell us Ange, you've been in Australia, what - 17 years?
Angela Farlam 1:26
17 years.
Martin Furber 1:27
17 years? Wow. And you've been hypnotising all that time?
Angela Farlam 1:31
Yes. Yeah.
Martin Furber 1:33
Yeah, brilliant. So. Okay, quick on the spot question here then. Are your clients mainly expats? Because I know there's a huge expat community over there, or is it Australians or both?
Angela Farlam 1:45
Okay, so I spend two days a week working on a self employed basis at a retreat here that specialises in addiction. They provide the clients which are mainly Australian, but from all around Australia. And they come for, there's a lot of stress, anxiety, depression, drugs, you know, everything really.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:09
Yeah, all the problems that brought them to addiction in the first place.
Angela Farlam 2:12
That's right. That's right. So I'm really fortunate I've been there. I've been involved with them since 2008, on and off, so it's really, it's a really good place to, to deepen my skill and experience. So that's what I do there. And then with my personal clients, all over really, not really the expat community at all.
Martin Furber 2:36
You were just you saying... I didn't realise it was so specialising in addictions at that clinic, do you have a high percentage of Aboriginal clients? Because I know I've seen a few documentaries where they're quite, they're quite susceptible to alcoholism, aren't they? They have high rates of it.
Angela Farlam 2:54
Alcohol and drugs, but actually, no. No, we get people from all walks of life. You know, it's quite surprising. You know, we have airline pilots and surgeons. It's youngsters like teenagers. Anybody, and the biggest drug is I don't know if you call it there, Meth.
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:17
Meth, we call it Yeah.
Martin Furber 3:20
Is that methamphetamine?
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:21
Yeah. Yeah, it's a worldwide problem
Angela Farlam 3:26
It is a big problem. But yes, so that's part of it. And lots of abuse. Lots of story. Lots ofstory.
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:35
This just from my personal interests, not necessarily the people listening, but here, opioids were a really big problem because they were pushed by the drug companies is... was that a big issue too? Are you still dealing with the aftermath?
Angela Farlam 3:49
Still over here as well with the opioids? Yeah, yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:55
So what would you do when you're not seeing people at that clinic? You have your own private one or, or just,
Angela Farlam 4:01
I spent a year in England in 2018. And then came back to Australia. And since I came back to Australia, I actually had a clinic in Whitby while I was there, but then I came back to Australia I've not actually had a clinic. I'm glad I didn't have a clinic with Covid coming but I just work from the apartment. I'm in, but because I've been here for such a long time. It tends to be people... I'll explain to them like, I work online, but if it's people who know me who've been.
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:35
So let's get back a little bit. What brought you to hypnosis I'm most fascinated by how people found it. I was furious when I found it because I should have been trained in medical school with this. So, and I didn't learn about until after I was retired. So I'm now I'm retired. So what what took you... what what experience brought you to study hypnosis in the first place?
Angela Farlam 5:00
I did get hypnotised when I was 17 by I don't know if you know, a man who had died now Martin St. James was, he was actually Australian but he hypnotised me at The Batley Variety Club in Yorkshire. And it was amazing. I'm obviously highly suggestible because I was straight, straight-off. But then it was many years later, when my it was my best friend who said she was going to do a course in hypnosis, and I nearly fell off my chair because it was out of... it was just not expected. I was the therapist, not not her. Her Hubby, I was saying earlier, her husband was in a band in the 70s. And they were doing... working at a venue in Jersey, and this hypnotist had been at the venue and hypnotised my friend - All the girlfriends in the band to stop smoking. And although none of them thought they'd been hypnotised, none of them smoked, at least for a while. And so she was always interested. So then many years later, after Dudley had died, and she had been looking to fill that void looking for something different to, do had found this course. And we ended up doing the course together so, and I've never looked back since then. And that was back in 2004.
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:20
How long a course was it? Where... what was the venue? Was it just...
Angela Farlam 6:25
Well the course was actually at the University in Leeds but it was the LCC London College of Clinical Hypnotherapy was the actual provider, and it's a year long, a year long course. But yeah, that was just the start of my journey that was. But not long into that, I went to London and trained with Paul McKenna and Richard Bandler and was introduced to NLP which goes really well with the hypnosis and went on to be a trainer of NLP as well. So I incorporate a lot of NLP and in my work.
Martin Furber 7:06
Yeah, we were talking recently Denise and I about the connection with NLP and hypnosis and NLP is yeah, we say, it is a form of hypnosis repackaged as it were. Well you practice both you've got qualifications in both what, what do you feel the similarities are in techniques.
Angela Farlam 7:28
Okay, so that was the NLP It's the reason it got connected with hypnosis was because it's really NLP was all about modelling excellence. And so the guys at the beginning of the journey in the 70s, Richard Bandler, and John Grinder, who I trained with in Australia, were studying studying excellence. People who were really good at what they were doing to replicate it. And they happened to study a famous hypnotist at the time, which was Milton Erickson. And Milton Erickson himself didn't even understand how he was getting these results, but they were modelling him and this is where the language that the Milton language came out the vague language that we use in hypnosis to guide people into trance. And then the metamodel is the... it's the teasing out through listening to what people are saying to you, so you can get that structure of how they're thinking. So it really helps with the journey and guiding somebody into trance as well. And understanding what they're doing on the inside.
Martin Furber 8:28
I was thinking particularly of some NLP techniques, sort of like the rewind or the swish method and that kind of thing.
Angela Farlam 8:37
All of that. Yeah.
Martin Furber 8:39
Because even in solution focused hypnotherapy, we use some NLP techniques. You know, there's little techniques borrowed from everywhere. And again, we were just talking about this the other day weren't we Denise about repackaging things. Solution-focused hypnotherapy, which I practice is more or less the same as the part of your business where you do coaching, it's, it's a similar kind of thing, it's all about keeping your eye on the desired results and helping the client use their own resources to get there.
Angela Farlam 9:09
And that's, what I... that's how I work. It's like, this is where you are, what do you want? So it's like that. Whereas, you know, we can in NLP doing regression go back in time to collect insights and lessons and learnings and you know, it's like, but it's, it's really solution-focused. It's like...
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:31
Yeah, yeah, you can go back there to find out what it was you need. You need to know, you don't need to spend a lot of time there. That's the point is, where are you now and where are you going in future because none of us really can go back. We can go take a peek and come back again.
Angela Farlam 9:33
That's right - that's it.
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:48
So when when you got to Australia, did you have to retrain in order to be qualified there or were there any other things that you needed to do?
Angela Farlam 9:56
So yeah, I still continued I've never I've never stopped learning. So I came 2006, we arrived in July. And I'd already been in touch with James Tsakalos. And he invited me as a guest to do his pracum master back in NLP, which he did over a year it was, but it was in Melbourne, it's a different state, two and a half hour flight. So I was going over every few weeks, every two or three weeks to Melbourne and back to do his course, which was fantastic.
This is this is pre everybody living on Zoom, right?
Yeah, definitely. And then, and there's another amazing trainer, Alistair Horscroft who was actually English, worked and taught hypnosis and NLP here on the coast. So I did his course and did a diploma in his course, here in... So that was 2007. And then 2008 was when I went on to do my trainer training in NLP in Sydney with Inspirative with John Grinder, which was so I got to train with both ends of NLP, but it was all including hypnosis as well. You know, it was all of the... Yeah, so I just keep on learning.
Martin Furber 11:18
There aren't many people who can say that they have trained with both Bandler and Grinder, in person.
Angela Farlam 11:26
And I'm really privileged to have had the opportunity. And I just found it. What I found really weird back then was, you know, it's all you know, what we know about how the mind works and everything. And yet these people can't stand each other, and had a court case against each other. And it's like, it just doesn't seem, you know...It seems a bit stupid.
Denise Billen-Mejia 11:27
Most most arguments are. So where, where do you find most of your clients other than the ones that are fed to you from the clinic? Where do you... do you do a lot of advertising. Is it all word of mouth now is...
Angela Farlam 12:06
It's been word of mouth, but I'm just on a new drive to this is like... Okay, where do I start? I want to... we intend to move to Thailand? I don't know if I said this to Martin.
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:23
So, Martin, I see a lot of travelling in your future.
Angela Farlam 12:29
So my son lives in Thailand in Bangkok. My son has been there 16 years. And before Covid...
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:37
I'm sorry. You moved to Australia, your son moved to Thailand. Was he in Australia? Or he? He went from Britain to Thailand.
Angela Farlam 12:46
He was travelling, he came to see us, and he was travelling and he is a writer. And he was... That's another story, how he ended up in Thailand. But it's yeah, he's been there ever since. So he got offered a job through work. Yeah, that's an interesting story on its own. But he's Yeah, so he's really happy there. So the plan is to move there. So we were planning and then Covid came along. And now we've got two elderly poodles that would not survive the journey. So we don't want anything to happen to them. But we won't be moving to Thailand until something does which, is awful really. Could be five years whatever. So, in the meantime, I'm like, Okay, I really want to build up my online presence because most of my clients that know me from here that I am getting, they're getting better at going online but because they know me in person tend to want to come in person. And I want to build up my business online. So I'm doing another...
Denise Billen-Mejia 13:47
Yeah, another course?
Angela Farlam 13:50
But I'm actually loving it. I'm absolutely loving it. And Sheila, I think Sheila Granger did this course or part of something similar. So it's with Jason Linett So, business influence so it's really helped you to I don't know if you've ever done any anything?
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:09
Where's his book? Nope, that's somebody else...
Angela Farlam 14:16
Smart hypnosis it might be...
Martin Furber 14:18
Work Smart Business
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:21
And this is your fellow Aussie. We're all addicted to learning about what everyone else is up to
Angela Farlam 14:29
It just goes on and on and on. But I'm absolutely loving it. I'm really really enjoying it, and it's, this is really about the the business side of it, not but, certainly it's nice to be sort of really embracing myself in that at the moment too. And also because of the coaching side of it. Like at the moment I've got four clients on five month coaching packages, and which is what I want to get more of rather than do... I don't really a one off session to be honest, it's usually three or five session packages, I've done that forever. But I want the longer and include in that, you know the direction the goals what is it you want?
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:10
So your coaching packages are they? Are they whatever the client wants to talk about? Or are you geared towards business success or sports success are those?
Angela Farlam 15:20
Okay...So the ones I've got is yeah, it's just what they want. But with doing the course with Jason, now, it's getting really clear on your offer and your story. So and you can have different offers and stories you don't have to just have one. So that because of the retreat, and I've specialised in anxiety forever, that's the fear and anxiety is my first story and offer but my other passion is running. So I want to... my next one is going to be on getting better at your sport etc. and running.
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:58
So our, our our listeners, whoever they are, who come and listen on a regular basis, know that we take our conversations all over the place. You just did a, how long a run did you do?
Angela Farlam 16:10
Well, 50 kilometres and
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:13
That sounds insane!
Angela Farlam 16:17
Except the day after, when I was feeling quite smug with myself. There was a guy in Australia who, and I shouldn't I can't remember his name, that's terrible, but it was on the news. And he started on the first of September. And he is gone all the way from, God knows where he's gone from, Perth, was it Perth, he's gone somewhere to somewhere. But he's in Australia he's run 80 kilometres a day from the first of September till last Saturday 80 kilometres a day. And I did 50 kilometres in one day. So it was like it sort of, you know, there's a difference. I don't know, that's a different level. But I actually have a running coach. I also think to be a coach, you should have a coach as well. And I have a running coach and in Mexico. And she was a client of mine back in 2017. I didn't know she was an elite athlete. And she, at the time I was working online but with NLP and also I work with the three principles. I don't know if you know, the three principles?
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:24
I've heard of it, but I have not...
Martin Furber 17:26
Oh, tell us...
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:29
Segue Yes, talk about that quickly. And then come back.
Unknown Speaker 17:33
Michael Neill and Jamie Smart were both NLP trainers very successful. And they both sort of moved their work away from NLP to the principles which are we the principles of mind, body and consciousness, and it comes from the work of Sydney Banks who had an enlightenment experience in the 70s. And so, I did a course, this course. Again, it was a year long course back in 2016 called Clarity. And it just was like the icing on the cake for me, Whereas NLP works on the structure of thought, and it's, it's like how we think and through our sub-modalities and modalities. The principles of working on the nature of thought so it's the fact that we think and not what we think that creates our moment to moment reality, and it's just amazing. So it's, it's just pointing in a completely different direction.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:31
Okay, so back to running.
Angela Farlam 18:33
Back to running. So where have.. I've forgotten where I was now.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:38
Your coach is in Mexico?
Angela Farlam 18:41
Oh, yeah.
Martin Furber 18:42
This I am interested to hear, a running coach. I was thinking of a physical running coach like a running buddy. Well, obviously, that's not the case. If she's in Mexico,
Angela Farlam 18:51
She gives me my programme on a weekly basis. So she, so she found me and she she'd had an injury, and she'd lost her mojo. And so with her it was there was no hypnosis back then it was more conversational, and I was utilising my skills with NLP on those principles. And after one session, she, she something clicked. We continued...she had a few sessions - didn't need any more. But we stayed friends, we became friends. And so now, I actually recorded a webinar for beginner to elite runners. And she's on it's on YouTube, I could share it with you anyway,
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:31
Please do we'll add it to the show-notes.
Martin Furber 19:32
I'll add it to the show notes, so people can find it. Yeah, we'll add your website in there as well.
Angela Farlam 19:39
It's great. So it's great for it. And I had somebody who listened to the recording and gave me a testimonial because he'd started running afterwards. And that was a recording of the live one because it's hypnosis and got NLP techniques. Anyway, so and she's on there, but she's an elite athlete and she runs 100 miles to be on the podium, you know? Just to get to one end in one piece. But she's a lot younger than I am. And she's just amazing. So when I actually broke my arm, the first 50k event, she bought me a ticket as a gift at Christmas, because I must have said in a mad moment that it was on my bucket list to do an ultra-run because I had completed a few marathons. So she bought me a kit. So and I was doing this event and I took a tumble on the trails and broke the head of humerus on my arm, so I didn't finish the event. And then the following year, when I recovered, I entered again but then I fractured my ankle on the trail so I couldn't compete that year.
Denise Billen-Mejia 20:46
Is you're body trying to tell you something?
Angela Farlam 20:50
Last year I got the... you get a bell, where's my bell, is my bell here. It's my bell. So you get, you don't get a medal. You get a cowbell. So there we go. So it's... so I got my bell last year. And that was my first 50k. And then I did another 50k Six months ago. And then I did the same one again, this weekend.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:15
No broken bones this time?
Angela Farlam 21:17
No, I did have a tumble. I got a grazed knee, and but I...
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:20
You can live with that.
Martin Furber 21:24
I think that is a fantastic achievement Angela, I do. I can't even run to the bus stop.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:31
When you're running, are you using hypnotic techniques on yourself? Are you aware of how the hypnotic nature of a repetitive action?
Angela Farlam 21:41
I'm very much aware of our minds and how powerful...I'll tell you another story.
Martin Furber 21:47
Yes, please do..
Angela Farlam 21:48
It's a lot of running.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:50
I think, Martin and I have been talking about improving our titles for episodes. I think this is gonna be 'Running with Angela'. But anyway...
Angela Farlam 22:00
Okay, so this is, I was at the doctor's today for just an annual checkup and it was 10 years. It's exactly 10 years since I had breast cancer. So I said to him, do I get a prize? And then I said well actually I'm surprised anyway, that I'm still here 10 years on. So anyway, so 10 years ago I was training for my first marathon. And I didn't actually start running till I was 51. By the way, I've not always been a runner. So I was 53 my first marathon and I got breast cancer just really inconvenient. When I couldn't do the marathon. But at the time, I was an impatient runner, and I was trying to run faster and I'm only five foot tall. I'm not very tall and my little legs wouldn't go that fast. So I've got books I was reading on the art of running faster and it wasn't happening. And then I got sick. I got breast cancer and I couldn't run. I had surgery. I came out a few funny things happen. So I came out of surgery with a need to watch the Star Wars movies. I don't know if you've watched Star Wars?
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:14
Yes
Martin Furber 23:15
I've watch the original one, but that was about it.
Unknown Speaker 23:18
My son loves Star Wars. My son is 40 now and they just a big noise to me when I was a child. I didn't... I wasn't into it. But I came out with this intent. I've got a watch Star Wars. So while I was recovering, I watched the Star Wars movies. As part of my treatment, I had 30 rounds of radiation, which I didn't like the sound of. So I decided okay, I will have the radiation. But I'm gonna use my imagination and pretend I'm getting zapped with Jedi power.
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:48
All right...
Martin Furber 23:49
May the force be with you.
Angela Farlam 23:53
And halfway through radiation apparently one of the main side effects can be extreme fatigue. I'd entered a 10 kilometre run, which is a hilly event. And I got a personal best result. And it was the first time I came in under an hour on a 10k run. And that was the Jedi power going around my system. So...
Martin Furber 24:18
You know Ange, you just ooze positivity. I just I just love the way you describe cancer is damned inconvenient.
Angela Farlam 24:26
It was! Because I don't expect it. Yeah, I got one of my friends to hypnotise me because I've got lots of offers for help. You know, I was really, you know, with the community. And I said, Yeah, I want to know why. And all I got the only answer I got was that I needed a rest
Denise Billen-Mejia 24:47
And went off for 10k run Yeah! But before we leave this particular topic, just for a moment, but Martin and I are also very keen for people to realise that no 'Woo-Woo'. It's not nobody's suggesting that hypnosis can cure cancer. This is, this is something that is, empowers you. Positive Thinking improves everything and it, there are definite. There's definite evidence that it improves our immunological status. But there's no, @Oh hypnotise me it will go away!'. No. It works with medicine. No, no, I know you didn't, I want to make sure that people understand it is one of many things that works together, they make it.
Angela Farlam 25:35
It can help in so many ways, like my brother died six years ago, with a brain tumour. And I, you know, was so again fortunate enough to be able to fly over to the UK because I didn't know, he died four weeks from diagnosis, and I just went over to see him. I didn't know he was gonna die. But I was there and...
Martin Furber 25:57
A very late diagnosis then or was it just a very, very rapid form of cancer?
Angela Farlam 26:04
Glioblastoma Multiforme. It's aggressive. So it's very quick. I'd seen him earlier on in the year, and he'd been fine. It just happened very quickly. But it was nice for me. It was like you said about me being positive. It was like, my family's always..'Oh we're so glad you're coming over with all your positivity Aunite Angie' and I was like, you know, I couldn't save my brother. And it wasn't about that it was just about being there and just being there. Nothing I did or anything. I did do hypnosis and massage and anything, but it wasn't about any of that. But it is nice to, to be able to do something to maybe... who knows? But it's not about No, we can't fix... what's gonna be's gonna be you know, it help us to quieten the noise in our mind and be able to access...
Denise Billen-Mejia 26:55
Right, it gives some people some, even if it's just getting a nice little vacation in your head for a few minutes away from away from, all of the bells and whistles of medicine.
Angela Farlam 27:05
Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:07
So where do you see this out? We're talking for ages. What? Where do you see your next big move? What do you what do you what are you studying right now that you're planning on?
Angela Farlam 27:17
So it's really looking at the business stuff, too. So we want to be in Thailand, and I'd like to I'd like to do retreats, like in person retreats in Thailand, because it's such a hub...Bangkok is such a hub for the world as well.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:35
You and I definitely have to talk. I mean, obviously, we are now but we'll talk after. My goodness. Oh, yes. Things.
Angela Farlam 27:45
I really quite well, I really would. Like, you know, it'd be great. Wouldn't it just like for us to get together and do something like that?
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:52
Yeah. So you have no idea what what the timetable is? Because your dogs aren't telling you. That's okay. So you're you're just trying to build up a business that I assume you won't be sticking your backpack together with your laptop and just traipsing around Thailand, but you but you want to have a portable business, and to be able to see the same clients no matter where you are. And as they're fairly 'techie' in Thailand, so you might have too much trouble with Wi-Fi becasue that's the limiting feature, isn't it?
Unknown Speaker 28:24
And I was in I was actually in Thailand in August and my son works for a five star hotel. And I actually did a workshop hypnosis workshop while I was there for his bosses, which was really cool. Yeah, building up some interest already. But my son was saying everybody, everybody massive generalisation. But that were his words, very much into the wellness, the corporate world, all into wellness. And so it sounds good. It's a good opportunity it's the right time.
Martin Furber 29:01
Yes, there's a quite a large Buddhist population isn't there in Thialand. Yeah, but yeah, so they're about you know, inner-self and that kind of thing. Yeah. So quite amenable, I would imagine, to the idea of hypnotherapy.
Angela Farlam 29:15
Well they were when I was there. And the NLP. I sort of framed it more I mean, initially, it was just a bit of a good idea let's do something but then it got a bit serious it was like I had a conference call with his bosses. I thought, oh I'd better sound professional now. So I sort of put my NLP head on this as well. But I utilised an NLP technique and brought in the hypnosis because I just love hypnosis.
Martin Furber 29:48
We're gonna have to have an Angela Farlam episode two, because we're out of time.
Denise Billen-Mejia 29:52
Absolutely!
Martin Furber 29:53
Angela have you got any final thoughts for our listeners and viewers?
Angela Farlam 29:58
Final thoughts just Oh gosh...
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:01
Try it to like it!
Angela Farlam 30:04
Definitely. It's, yeah. Try it - You'll like it. I love that.
Martin Furber 30:09
I've got one. I saw a testimonial on your website, and it said, 'Ange is one of those people that the world needs more of.' And I absolutely agree.
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:19
That's lovely.
Martin Furber 30:20
Thank you for coming on.
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:22
Thank you. Definitely, good to meet you finallIy, I hear your name all the time, but we're in such weird time zones. It's hard to connect.
Martin Furber 30:30
For anybody listening, ways of contacting Ange will be in the show-notes as well. Go and pay her website a visit.
Angela Farlam 30:38
Thank you. And I'm back in the UK next July. So let's meet up.
Martin Furber 30:43
Oh, definitely, definitely. Absolutely, that's lovely . Thanks, Angela. Thanks for joining us.
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:57
We hope you've enjoyed listening. Please remember, this podcast is designed to give you an insight into therapeutic hypnosis, and is for educational purposes only. So remember, consult with your own healthcare professional if you think something you've heard may apply to you or a loved one.
Martin Furber 31:14
If you found this episode useful, you can apply for free continuing professional development or CME credits. Using the link provided in the show notes. Feel free to contact either of us through the links in the show notes. Join us again next week.
