Denise Billen-Mejia 0:07
Welcome to Two hypnotherapists talking with me, Denise Billen-Mejia in Delaware, USA.
Martin Furber 0:13
And me Martin Furber in Preston UK.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:16
This weekly podcast is for anyone and everyone who would like to know more about fascinating subject of hypnosis and the benefits that it offers.
Martin Furber 0:24
I'm a clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist,
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:27
I'm a retired medical doctor turned consulting hypnotist.
Martin Furber 0:31
We are two hypnotherapists talking.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:34
So let's get on with the episode.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:40
So let's get on with the show!
Martin Furber 0:43
I know...Season 3 Welcome back.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:46
Did you enjoy a little break?
Martin Furber 0:50
Yes, it's been eventful, no need to go there, but I've had a good break, and yeah, I'm feeling ready to go on season three.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:58
All right. It's a break from podcast. You didn't take a break from work?
Martin Furber 1:02
Far from it!
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:04
Change is as good as a rest as they say.
Martin Furber 1:07
So they say, so they say, but you know, I've had a good rest from the podcast. And I'm raring to go. But yeah, I've been I've been very, very busy with work, as have you. I've no doubt.
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:20
Yeah, a lot of things are falling into place. It's just like, like hypnosis. It's not a magic pill. In fact, I shall have a business, "Puff there's a business" doesn't work that way! So much stuff that goes on behind the scenes that you didn't realise. That's hypnosis, not that we're doing things behind the scenes. But, you know, we make suggestions to the subconscious, and it's got work to do.
Martin Furber 1:42
We make some suggestions to our subconscious all the time, don't we? Yeah, so I know, what we're going to talk about today?
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:53
I think actually rest and recuperation and the importance of, of taking breaks from things.
Martin Furber 2:00
Hmm. Yeah, well, it's I mean, I keep saying this thing, all along, right the way through the last two series, when whenever we've hit on something, and we start talking about, or made references back to old sayings and expressions, like I remember when we're talking about sleeping, you said an hour before midnight, it's worth two afterwards? Or is it the other way around? I can't remember.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:23
You said it correctly the first time.
Martin Furber 2:24
Yeah, thank you. And then there's the expression of, 'a change is as good as a rest'. So it's like, yeah, what's the reasons?
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:30
IBecause there is ancient wisdom.
Martin Furber 2:32
Yeah,
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:33
Without getting all woo-woo on us.
Martin Furber 2:35
no need to go woo-woo. We don't do woo-woo.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:37
We have many, so many of the problems that we have in this modern world, and we're ignoring the wisdom of the thing. The sun has gone to bed, you should too. And some of the things we still do naturally, but there's so much competition, we're so connected. You know, it's, I had a meeting yesterday at 7am is not a natural time for me to be up, I get up if I need to, certainly up before seven. But I don't want to engage with my brain necessarily at 7am. I can do it if I have to, and I did yesterday, but it's because of time differences. having a chat with people in Australia requires, you know, different hours here. So, and that, of course interferes with the natural rhythms that we've had for millennia. Hmm, because we've got this connection, and it's wonderful. It's a great opportunity to talk somebody in Australia, but it has its drawbacks, and you need to make adjustments.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:45
Yeah, what I find is, I mean, because I speak with our dear friend Angela Farlam, who was one of our guests.
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:22
She's there. Yes,
Martin Furber 3:24
She lives in Australia. Now when I speak to her, it's about seven in the morning. Now, invariably, I'm up well before seven o'clock. I have to be. But, to do something like a long follow on conversation for half an hour or an hour at seven in the morning, then it messes with my day. I mean, yes, usually, it's seven in the morning, I'm quite happily going through my emails at my own little pace, just catching up on some of the bits. Maybe I'm making a couple of alterations to the website, but I sort of ease myself into the day. So, to have a sort of full on conversation where you are completely attentive to somebody, and listening to everything they're saying and talking about. Yeah, it throws me off for the day. Does it do the same with you?
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:27
It does. And I get more tired doing that.I find that I actually want to lie down in the afternoon and take a nap, which I never do.
Martin Furber 4:36
Oh, it's fatal for me.
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:37
Yeah, yeah. And then the whole day's shot. Okay, I must be home from work, now. This is one of the disadvantages of working from home. You know, you don't have that marker, left the building. You've locked that up and now you've gone to your home and you can relax.
Martin Furber 4:52
Yeah, I mean, well, I'm only working from home about a third of the time these days but when I do I make a point I stop for one hour in the middle of the day, and I go for a walk. I have to, otherwise about half an hour after lunch. I just want to go to sleep.
Denise Billen-Mejia 5:05
And that's what we're saying that you need those breaks, break from one activity not necessarily take a nap, though you could have a little hypnosis vacation in your head if you want to. It could be quite nice. Yeah, I don't always want to come back from vacation.
Martin Furber 5:21
Yeah, I have been known to you know, enjoy some hypnosis in the afternoons.
Denise Billen-Mejia 5:27
But also you said you go for a walk. Physical activity is so different from mental activity, and it's terribly good for us to do that. Especially when we sit glued to our computer so much these days. Used to be you know, you were running there, if you're a woman with children, you're running all over the house and now are working. My kids are grown, and I'm sitting here in front of a computer all day. Yeah, often talking to clients, which is lovely, but still sitting in front of a computer. So walking is a great idea.
Martin Furber 5:56
I find if I've got, say, four hours work to do on a computer, I've got four hours, sat at my computer, I'll get far more done, If I do an hour and a half, take an hour's walk then do another hour and a half. I'll get more done in those three hours that I have worked, than I would have in a solid four, absolutely every every time, every single time.
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:17
There's good distraction, and there's bad distraction. And when your body is telling you, do something else, do something else. And you sort of fiddle with stuff for a bit. Let me rearrange my sock drawer, you know that kind of stuff.
Martin Furber 6:31
That's it, because even if I'm tired, say you're getting a bit of eyestrain at the computer or something, even if I'm tired or feeling physically tired, if I get up and do something physically active, I no longer feel physically tired.
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:44
But it also allows your brain time to do that sort of background work that it does when you're working on a problem. You're writing an article whatever it is that you're spending that hour and a half before doing. But you have not yet completed you know, your subconscious, or even your unconscious. I haven't liked the term unconscious mind it sounds 'un-well'. But the other part of your brain, not the part that's got all the all the things your mother didn't like and it's stuck in your head. But that background computer work that your brain is doing. And then you come and you sit down it's like 'God, look at that sentence is completely wrong'. And you rewrite half of it. And you can do it so fast. Because your brain has been thinking about it in the background.
Martin Furber 7:32
It could be because you've had a break away from it. I mean, that's the thing, isn't it, you can come back and look at something with a fresh pair of eyes. You just made me laugh though, you talking about 'and the things that your mother didn't like'. Oh, you get that as well then do you? It thought it It was just me!
Denise Billen-Mejia 7:49
No, most of our subconscious suggestions in early life come from our parents and other caregivers. 'Broccoli - Yucky!'
Martin Furber 7:57
Yeah, we were talking earlier on actually before we went on air about how this, change is as good as a rest thing, and how it works. It's also, you see this is the thing, where I always try and give people a really good explanation of hypnosis. Things that are said to you, things that go into your subconscious, may not appear for hours or even days afterwards. And I always use that crossword analogy for that. You know, if you're doing a crossword and you're stuck on a clue, and you put the crossword down and you just get on with your day, and three hours later, you could have been talking about something else doing something completely different. You certainly weren't trying to think of the answer consciously, but the answer will suddenly spring into your mind out of nowhere.
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:43
I think I have to look at the times of day that I tend to do crosswords because those things usually I sit up in bed at three o'clock in the morning! But I think that crosswords and word games are kind of my winding down technique.
Martin Furber 8:58
Oh, do you do WORDLE?
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:59
I'm doing them later? And yeah, I do Wordle of course, but those kinds of things word finding. I used to do Words with Friends. I tend to play the solitary games rather than with friends. Again, time differences in playing a game and you send out a word and three days later you get response. It's just not the same. Don't blame the computer!
Martin Furber 8:59
The only puzzles I do is Sudoku.
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:25
See, I don't like that. I don't like math. Now what do I not like math? Because I was told I didn't like math because I'm a girl. I don't know. Enough enough math to get through my science.
Martin Furber 9:36
Oh, your Americanisms coming through there Denise! math. We say maths.
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:41
I know, and I use that to good effect on word puzzles. Yes, the use of trance as a distracting thing, just to take a mini vacation or just a relaxation tape, just to allow you to have a really good rest.
Martin Furber 10:05
Yeah, I mean, well, we were talking about that a little bit earlier on. I do like to listen to a recording in the middle of the day. Maybe a twenty minute one, and for me, because I'm used to it, I can just totally switch off from everything and concentrate on that.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:22
Well, yeah, of course, as hypnotists, we get hypnotised all the time. Yeah, and we're perfectly happy to be so.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:28
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:30
I use the... there's a an Australian hypnotist. I've not come across her, for all the meetings I go to, I've not come across her yet. Her name is Faircloth, I can't remember the first name, but she does a lot of sleep Hypno, she has a really good audio on powernap. So, not that I want anybody to go off of YouTube now, or leave our podcast, but please go and look. Faircloth powernap. It's just 10 minute ones and 20 minute ones. Very good. I find her voice very, very soothing, and I really enjoy her. I must admit, I have a little bit of a prejudice. I don't particularly like listening to men's voices, for hypnosis. I definitely prefer listening to a female voice. Do you have a preference?
Martin Furber 11:22
No, I don't actually I just like particular people. The ones I listen to? Yeah, it's probably a 50/50 split I would say. I like yours, I like yours with the kittens. Yeah, perk of the job for editing Denise's recordings. I get to listen to them!
Denise Billen-Mejia 11:49
Yeah, we did have one recently, I couldn't get through because it realised it took me out too so I sent it to Martin, he had the same problem.
Martin Furber 11:59
Oh, yeah, I remember that. I remember that. I've done them myself, though, when I'm writing them out, and I start to fall asleep!
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:10
Set the timer and stop after five minutes.... So, this rest that we both had?
Martin Furber 12:20
Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:21
What should...what do you as a hypnotist, recommend to your clients who come to you that are frazzled, about one thing or another? Do you recommend that they listen to the tape that you give them during the day or at night?
Martin Furber 12:35
I don't recommend they listen to the usual nighttime recording, in the daytime. I will create a special one for the daytime.
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:45
Right. But your, the standard one that you send them home with, after that first consultation.
Martin Furber 12:50
Yeah,
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:50
That is designed to be used at night?
Martin Furber 12:52
It's designed to be used at night, yeah, because it's designed for them to...specifically, the language patterns I use is designed to promote REM sleep, it's not necessarily designed to send them off to sleep, per se, it's designed that when they do get sleep, they're getting the right quality of sleep, and they're getting the right amount of REM sleep. And it's designed to help them sort of, you know, process the thoughts and remove the emotion from them.
Denise Billen-Mejia 13:19
How long is yours?
Martin Furber 13:20
Like 25 minutes, 25-30 minutes.
Denise Billen-Mejia 13:24
Of you speaking?
Martin Furber 13:25
Yes.
Denise Billen-Mejia 13:25
Becasue with mine, I always have a long tail for music.
Martin Furber 13:28
Yeah, no, no, mine have two or three minutes at the end, and that's it. I'm talking all the way through the daytime ones whenever I prepare them for people, or I also do early evening ones, for people who are wanting to lose weight. They tend to be about 10-15 minutes long, that's all, I don't take them down too deeply. And it's just to reinvigorate, again, the thing you were saying about change is as good as a rest. You can be really, really tired. But you're listening to that for 10 or 15 minutes. It can reinvigorate you, it can motivate you.
Martin Furber 13:29
That's why I like the power nap, and then get on with the day.
Martin Furber 14:04
Well, that's it. That's the whole idea of it.
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:06
Aha moment. Yes. Because the aha moment comes from
Martin Furber 14:11
A change is as good as a rest.
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:13
Right, but when you get back to your newspaper, you know, you're writing an article and you walk away from it, you come back, and you suddenly realise something. I mean, actually, if you write anything, even if you think it's finished, you shouldn't hit 'send' right away. You can take a little break
Martin Furber 14:27
I learnt that very early on!
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:29
The same thing goes, if you're in a very bad mood, and you're sending an email, have a cup of tea and come back.
Martin Furber 14:39
Well, that's it, it;s that gut reaction, isn't it to anything? I mean, this is the whole primitive-intellectual brain argument, isn't it? Because you say something in the heat of the moment because you're firing from the primitive side of the brain. You're in defence mode, fight or flight, and then you cool down, you think about it intellectually afterwards. It's like Oops! I wish I hadn't said that.
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:03
It isn't what I meant to say.
Martin Furber 15:06
Yeah, or maybe I should have just kept that thought to myself.
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:10
Yes. Your inner voice going out there talking about the givens, they call it here, the political system here. They just said the quiet bit out loud.
Martin Furber 15:22
It's funny this actually Denise because it's, I mean, you could talk about public speaking with hypnotherapy and what have you.
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:27
As as I sometimes do.
Martin Furber 15:28
Yeah, me too. What some people who teach public speaking will say, Oh, it's great to start off being humble. If you're nervous, just say so, Oh I'm sorry, I'm a bit nervous, and be really human and natural, and that's great. Other ones will argue to the contrary,
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:43
As this particular facilitator that you had last week, presumably would. Don't people find that disarming? Or do they think it's it's fake? 'Oh I'm a little bit nervous' - and they give a brilliant speech!
Martin Furber 16:01
Yeah, false modesty. Yeah. I don't know, because I don't actually get nervous.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:07
Do you not?
Martin Furber 16:08
no, in real life. No, not public speaking, no.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:12
I get the dry mouth and the... I can get through it. But I'm definitely burning more calories getting through it than I would normally. This doesn't bother me, this in real life doesn't bother me. But if you label it 'A Talk'...
Martin Furber 16:28
It's supposed to be one of those big fears though, isn't it, public speaking.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:33
Second only to death!
Martin Furber 16:34
Really? Yeah, well, I can imagine death trumping it. But no, I don't have any fear of public speaking.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:44
Do you feel the same way? I know that you had a little argument with Zoom recently. Did you feel the same way, presenting, using technology while you're also talking? Now your colleague, she'll run that side of things.
Martin Furber 17:00
No, it's actually a really, really simple issue. And I've sorted it out.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:05
So, apart from the power nap, Miss Faircloth, who I really, if you ever see this, please contact me. Who I think is really amazing. I don't just do that I like listening to actually don't even really necessarily using hypnosis to do it. Because you just naturally go into a hypnotic state where you're half asleep and half awake, listening to travelogues or, you know, somebody describing a walk down a particular street or getting on...One day, I will make it across the United States on a train, there are several routes you can take that are really fantastic. To things like that, where you just you're in that, on that journey, that in real life would take several hours, two or three days really if you're gonna take lunch breaks. But really only takes 20 minutes. 25 minutes.
Martin Furber 18:10
Okay, yeah, but, say, yeah, I'd be interested to talk about what's the difference between, say, you putting me into trance, and then taking me on a holiday of a lifetime, you know, on a journey, in trance under hypnosis for half an hour, and then bringing me back and make me feeling, you know, like Total-Recall. Wow. What's the difference between that...
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:36
Live a lifetime in half and hour...
Martin Furber 18:40
This is it, distortion of time, Denise, because what's the difference between that and watching a really, really well put together TV programme on the same thing for half an hour?
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:48
Right.
Martin Furber 18:49
There is a huge difference in the effect it would have.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:54
Use it. Well, you see I would use it, I would have it on and I would just be listening to it. So I think it's sort of Self Hypnosis.
Martin Furber 19:00
No, I could watch it and get absorbed in the moment and watch a really, really good holiday programme. And, you know, without all the commercial breaks that you get over there every 7 minutes, and be focused, but I would not feel the same way as having...
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:14
You wouldn't have the time distortion.
Martin Furber 19:16
Yeah, I wouldn't feel the same way as being hypnotised for half an hour, and gone on that pleasant trip, that pleasant journey, you know that thing. What's the difference? How could we explain that difference to people?
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:30
I don't know. But I've had a lot of clients tell me that it's different. I mean, they have
Martin Furber 19:34
There's a huge difference! .
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:35
Yeah, and they and they contact me afterwards and say, I thought it was about 15 minutes and then I looked at the clock. And I came out of the room, Oh! I was in there for an hour and a half. I mean, I would never take anybody on an hour and a half trance. There's a lot of conversation before but the actual trance usually is only 15-20 minutes.
Martin Furber 19:55
Yeah, it's about 30 minutes with me.
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:56
It feels it feels a lot longer.
Martin Furber 19:58
It definitely, definitely does. Or it can go the other way round as well. I can remember one time, myself being hypnotised back in the day, and I remember saying to the hypnotist, wow that seemed really quick, and they just pointed to the clock and it was 40 minutes. It was like, it seemed like five. Because I could remember the going down. I could remember the coming back. I couldn't remember the bit in the middle.
Denise Billen-Mejia 20:28
Right? Yeah, usually they feel like it's been a shorter time, because they only remember those parts. I have a few that remember absolutely everything I've said, they can parrot it back to me. And yet they acknowledged that they were hypnotised they just, the mind that does that. I don't I I lose track very soon after going in. And as I've said many times, like I hear three and think, go back the other way again. But which is why I prefer my clients to listen to it at night as they fall asleep. So that, and they listen to it, and they presumably fall asleep at slightly different sections, so they hear the whole thing. Well, of course, we don't know, although I'm sure some scientists will figure it out with functional MRI or something at what point you cease to actually hear what's being said to you. We do know that people in coma, take in and more than we realise they can hear things.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:13
Now, that's a perfect example, because they don't consciously hear it.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:30
Right!
Martin Furber 21:30
They can't because they're unconscious. They're in a coma.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:36
Yeah, but they will sometimes remember.
Martin Furber 21:39
Oh, yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:40
They won't necessarily remember who was saying it. But they heard a voice saying blah, blah, blah.
Martin Furber 21:43
Yeah, because it's gone into the subconscious. They couldn't possibly have consciously heard it because they weren't conscious. I mean, this, this was an argument with stuff to do with hypnosis, and eight hour long hypnosis things to teach you a foreign language while you sleep sort of thing. With, you know, not particularly good results. As I remember rightly, there's a thing said that you probably after about an hour, your brain has gone out of that area of being able to absorb.
Denise Billen-Mejia 22:14
I think you do that when you're conscious, after an hour. Lectures really need to be 50 minutes, there's a reason for the 50 minute sessions.
Martin Furber 22:23
Yeah, you zone out.
Denise Billen-Mejia 22:24
You need to take a break, you need to circle back again, you need to have a distraction, something to to allow your brain to absorb what it's taken in. I think that for the language thing, I think that probably does work if it's used in addition to standard education. Otherwise, you know, medical school would have been a lot more pleasant if I could have just gone to sleep listening to people talking.
Martin Furber 22:53
Whether it would work for med school or not. I mean, I think they particularly go for the angle with language, becasue of the fact that we all learn our language just by listening, don't we.
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:02
Well, yes, but applying too, otherwise, how do you know that you are understanding it? If you're not applying it? I assume babys do the same thing. When they, when babies first come and talk to you, they don't talk to you in words, but they mimick the sound mumbling, in an accent?
Martin Furber 23:25
Well, then they start to copy the words down they.
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:27
Exactly, and eventually they figure out which ones belong where. But I love having those conversations with two year olds, sort of no words, that one through two, when they're really beginning to master language.
Martin Furber 23:42
You see, I like them about three to five years old, where you can actually have a conversation with them. But they're still at that age, like you say they're all hypnotised little beings. Yes. Yeah. Before they start going wild and out of control. Yeah, Michael Yapko, psychologist held a conference on self esteem and asked the question, would those people who are happy with, with what they are and who they are stand up. Only three people stood up and he asked them whether they had a critical voice in the back of their heads, they all said they do. He asked the three people how they dealt with their critical voice and they answered number one, imagine the voice is a Rottweiler chained to a railing and just carry on walking. Number two, I don't listen if it's not constructive until it to bugger-off. Number three, treat it as a person telling me something and I don't stand for it. So they basically ignore their inner voice.
Denise Billen-Mejia 24:38
We hear the negatives. Unlike children who hear the positives like don't stand on that chair, stands on chair, because they ignore the NO!
Martin Furber 24:51
It's not that they don't hear, it is that they ignore it. No, I'm just talking about the inner-voice and actually I've just hit on something, because the inner-voice isn't always critical. Yeah, it isn't always critical, but it is always negative, because that's it's job, it's there to look out for things, it warns you about things.
Denise Billen-Mejia 25:11
Yes.
Martin Furber 25:12
So it's not being critical of you, when he's warning you, there's a fire engine coming down the road don't stand out.
Denise Billen-Mejia 25:18
But then how is hypnosis working? For example, if I have somebody who's coming to me who has a panic attack, at the idea of driving over a bridge, or giving a speech, and I implant the idea that there is no reason for this? Or the positive? How are they then hearing the positive and not negative?
Martin Furber 25:40
Because you're a damned good hypnotist!!
Denise Billen-Mejia 25:42
Yes, but I mean, there must have been, there are other positive things that have gone into their head before too. So you don't actually hear the positive. It's just shut-up the other, the other thing is just gone. You just don't notice the positive.
Martin Furber 25:55
Yeah. Well, we.....
Denise Billen-Mejia 25:57
You don't sort of stand up and walk down, you know, do the ballroom entrance and walk downstairs thinking I am beautiful. I am tall, I can walk without falling over. Because you don't hear that. But if you didn't have that in there, you would hear you're gonna fall over. Don't look at your feet, look straight ahead. All the all the things that you're supposed to do for deportment while you're doing an automatic action.
Martin Furber 26:20
Well yeah, I mean, this is the thing, isn't it? Okay? When we're walking down the street, we're aware of what's going on around us. But we're not constantly, consciously thinking about every single bit of our body and what it's doing. That's why we can suddenly twist our ankle on a loose paving flag. Because we're not watching every step we take. We just do it subconsciously. We do it automatically. But yeah, our mind is still on constant alert all the time. And it's to do with how anxious we are, I think as to how much, how negative that voice is. The more anxious we are going into any situation, I think, the more negative that voice is.
Denise Billen-Mejia 26:58
Then you're also scanning for everything all the time. Yeah, there's only so many things you can scan for at a time. So you know, you're going to make a mistake.
Martin Furber 27:06
Yeah, well, that's it. And that's when people get nervous, why they start making mistakes, if they can, if you can just bring that anxiety down and calm them down, they don't make as many mistakes, they're less anxious, they're less likely to make those mistakes. Because when we're anxious, we can't focus can we?
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:22
No, because you've constantly hyper vigilant.
Martin Furber 27:26
That's it! We can't focus on anything when we're anxious. I mean, that's where hypnotherapy really helps, because it just brings the anxiety down. I don't think it's, I mean, obviously, the replacing negative suggestions with positive ones is a good thing. But I think it's a dual pronged attack. And it's bringing the anxiety down as well.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:44
I think almost everything that I do, anxiety is part of his part of it. If we just, if all I did was advertise myself as an anti anxiety person. Yeah, bring that up, all the other things would probably get better, too. Yeah.
Martin Furber 27:59
Everything I deal with, practically everything I deal with, is linked to anxiety. I mean, I don't know. Hit me with a subject that I'm likely to see a client for. Let's look at the anxiety in it.
Denise Billen-Mejia 28:10
Is there anxiety around weight. Yeah, we eat our emotions - They are your words not mine!
Denise Billen-Mejia 28:18
But not everybody is anxious.
Martin Furber 28:20
No, not everybody's anxious. I mean, this, this is the thing, actually, Denise. I mean, we let's look at a case I was dealing with recently, in terms of somebody with an addiction to substances, substance abuse, okay. That they start to use it as a leisure thing. Then they start to self medicate with it and then it gets to the point of I'm happy, I'll take some drugs. I'm sad. I'll take some drugs. I'm anxious, I'll take some drugs. I'm not feeling anxious or feeling great, I'll take some drugs.
Denise Billen-Mejia 28:53
Becasue I'll be more happy!
Martin Furber 28:54
Yeah, yeah. So I mean, it can be the same with food. It was for me for years and years and years for food. It was like I'm happy I'll eat I feel great. It tastes nice. I'm sad, I'll eat. I'm anxious, I'll eat.
Denise Billen-Mejia 29:08
Is that because you've subconsciously linked taste with happiness, the taste of the food with happiness?
Martin Furber 29:15
Yeah, or with comfort?
Denise Billen-Mejia 29:17
Oh, I think that definitely with the comfort foods, particularly if people are miserable, they've come back from work they've had a horrible day. They'll tend to go for things that they think of as comfort foods, like the bag of chips, the very salty or the very sweet things.
Martin Furber 29:32
That's it, it's the comfort foods, it's what in them, isn't it like you say they're either very sweet, very salty or very fatty. Yeah. Now it's that balance though, isn't it? Something that hits all the pleasure receptors within us, we get that sweet taste, we like it, we get that fatty taste, we like it...
Denise Billen-Mejia 29:47
It's also, all something that you relate to when you were a child. Almost always, the thing that most comforts you, was something your Mum used to make on your birthday...
Martin Furber 29:57
You obviously never tasted my Mother's cooking!
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:02
She'll come back and haunt you now!
Martin Furber 30:03
No, she'd be the first to admit it, she'd be the first to admit it, she was a terrible cook. But she always tried her best. That was the important thing. Just get back on topic again. It's those pleasure receptors, isn't it with food? Definitely, definitely. So I was making that comparison, though, with the, with the thing of drug use, people can use food in that way. You know, it fills that gap. It fills that emotional void. It's whatever. And it's the same when people have used substances. It's that go to thing, isn't it for comfort? Right. We're going all over the place for this podcast today, Denise, and it's our first one of the new series. And I hope we've not put too many listeners and viewers off, but, it's actually quite a serious, important thing, because it's about habits. I'm out of habit, I'm out of practice. Yeah, but no, it's amazing, though, isn't it? We did 13 episodes last series 13 episodes the series before. I think this is actually the longest break we've taken between them as well.
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:04
It is.
Martin Furber 30:10
Yeah. And it's like we suddenly get out of practice, you know, we do our circular conversations.
Martin Furber 30:31
Yes, that's true. I've been practising on my, mine are always rather circular, but I have for my other podcast, the one with physicians, but that it's always with a guest. And it's a different guest each time. Yeah. So I'm used to that. The conversations with you and I will be very... Oh, that reminds me of...
Martin Furber 31:29
Well that's the point, you and I could talk on Zoom for
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:31
We do!
Martin Furber 31:31
We do yeah, when it comes to recording a podcast like, but when it comes to recording a podcast all of a sudden, it's like, well, what are we talking about?
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:38
I do think the fact that you need to practice something for it to be fresh in your mind. So that it continues to be, even the things that are, you going to be able to retrieve, we promise you the next time you hear just us talking we'll be a bit more organised.
Martin Furber 31:57
That's the thing if you're if you're trying to build a new habit or replace a bad one or something, it does take practice, but it's how we learn anything. I mean, I always use the one of Tying shoelaces the first time you shown how to do it, you'll feel completely overwhelmed by about the eighth attempt. From there onwards, you can do it with your eyes closed if you need to.
Denise Billen-Mejia 32:19
But if you were to learn tying your shoelaces, once a month, you'd have a lesson, it will take you forever. You need to, there needs to be a very short interval between things. That's an interesting aspect of hypnosis. You could practice tying your shoelaces under hypnosis, I'm not sure we've done that with a child. But if you'd be able to practice it multiple times in your head, in a very short period of time and master a task.
Martin Furber 32:46
Well we've got Brenda Rhodes on next week. So she's a hypnotherapist from your side of the pond. We're talking about narcissism, narcissistic behaviour, and coercive behaviour, gaslighting, trauma bond, and all kinds of other things. That is actually a really, really good episode. Makes a lot more sense than this one does!
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:08
A little more linear.
Martin Furber 33:11
Yeah. Yeah. So that's next one. But then it's you and I back on Episode Three after that, isn't it?
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:18
Right, we'll have to wait. We're taking suggestions if you want to contact us.
Martin Furber 33:24
And, if anybody knows anything about virtual reality combined with hypnosis, please get in touch. We'd love to speak with you. So we'll see you on the next one.
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:33
Thanks Martin. Bye bye.
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:43
We hope you've enjoyed listening. Please remember this podcast is designed to give you an insight into therapeutic hypnosis, and is for educational purposes only. So remember, consult with your own healthcare professional if you think something you've heard may apply to you or a loved one.
Martin Furber 33:59
If you found this episode useful, you can apply for free continuing professional development or CME credits. Using the link provided in the show notes. Feel free to contact either of us through the links in the show notes. Join us again next week.
