Denise Billen-Mejia 0:07
Welcome to Two hypnotherapists talking with me, Denise Billen-Mejia in Delaware, USA.
Martin Furber 0:13
And me Martin Furber in Preston UK.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:16
This weekly podcast is for anyone and everyone who would like to know more about fascinating subject of hypnosis and the benefits that it offers.
Martin Furber 0:24
I'm a clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist,
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:27
I'm a retired medical doctor turned consulting hypnotist.
Martin Furber 0:31
We are two hypnotherapists talking.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:34
So let's get on with the episode.
Martin Furber 0:36
Denise, hello again! series four.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:38
I know and the summer's over.
Martin Furber 0:41
the summer's...Well, our summer was on a Tuesday. I don't know about yours.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:45
Oh, no. Well, we have, we had the excessive summer over here.
Martin Furber 0:49
Yeah, especially it's been miserable in England, miserable. Yeah, absolutely miserable, and down south as well. Usually, if we're having it bad up here it comes on the weather, you know, it's 16 or 17 degrees up here. And it shows London at 27. Not this year.
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:08
Yeah. Anyway, their temperatures are returning to normal temperatures now. So it's, it's warm. It's nice to go for a walk. It's not bad at all. But you and I were chit chatting a little bit before we opened up here. What we're going to talk about this time? And I was I'm going to be very honest here. I don't consider this a vulnerable statement. But I am going to be honest, my sleep schedule has gone completely to pot in the last two or three months.
Martin Furber 1:35
Because you're human.
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:37
Yes, I know. But I am. You know, I refuse to go to bed unless I know I'm going to sleep because I do not wish to lie in bed looking at the ceiling.
Martin Furber 1:45
Right, ok, fair enough.
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:46
So I go through my routine around 10:30, 11 o'clock. And and I can't turn off
Martin Furber 1:55
Racing thoughts is it?
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:57
I don't know if they're racing, but they just keep coming. And it's you know I do. I'm very bad. I do play with my computer a lot. Admittedly, it's an iPad at that time of day. And I answer emails from all over the world. I answer you because you're getting up and I should have been in bed. You would expect me to answer in the morning. But oh, look, I'm here. Also, all of those things are very bad, but hypnosis does help. And I know, obviously since I do this all the time for a living, that I should be using it to help me sleep.
Martin Furber 2:32
I know, but it's a case of the cobblers children isn't it?
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:35
Exactly. Exactly.
Martin Furber 2:36
Do they have that expression over there as well?
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:39
Yes. Well, I've given it to them if they don't!
Martin Furber 2:44
No, I mean, the first thing you mentioned there though, or one of the first things you mentioned, was using your iPad late at night. That's that blue light thing, isn't it? You know, it's the worst kind of light you can have because it's keeping your brain cells going and fired up.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:58
Same thing with the television. I should, my husband goes to bed ridiculously early because he gets up ridiculously early, like your friend. And I should take my evening medicines, turn every off everything, I should read a book. I used to read books. And I have become so addicted to instant communication.
Martin Furber 3:27
I think we all have though.
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:28
I know. I know. And I've got to reprogram my subconscious. Know anybody who can help?
Martin Furber 3:36
I think it all is, though isn't it? Everybody's so used to getting instant replies or expecting instant replies. You know, it's the thing when somebody replies to a text after a week, it's like, well if I wanted to wait a week, I would have posted you a letter
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:49
Over here you'd wait forever, then. Yeah, and never get there. But yeah, it's the assumption that everything is going to be instant gratification. Like I will do this. I will go to a hypnotist and boom, I will not have this issue anymore. Sometimes that's true, but usually there's a time lag.
Martin Furber 4:07
Yeah, yeah. Because especially if it's something like getting rid of a long standing habit, something that takes years to establish it's unlikely you can get rid of it instantly. Yeah. It takes a little bit more work than that. But no, sleep, sleep. You use the phrase sleep hygiene.
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:26
Yes, that's a very common phrase here. Going bed at the same time, getting up at the same time. You know, not being on your iPad half an hour before bed. Yeah, those are the things that would constitute sleep hygiene. The proper kind of routine that you should have to get your mind and body ready to sleep.
Martin Furber 4:50
Okay, how did you manage in your previous profession? Because you were working all kinds of crazy shifts weren't you?
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:55
Yeah. And that was an assumption if I was working the 11 to 11 shift, meaning finishing at 11, in the evening, I was probably going to be at the hospital for a couple of hours before I get home. So I'll be getting home around two, then I would watch infomercials to wind down. Yeah. Which of course is considered to be blue light. So that's not a terribly good idea. But when I stopped work, and I worked nights for the last five years of my career, when I stopped working, my body sort of assumed if I was still awake at if I was upright at 10 o'clock, then I was working and it wouldn't turn off until four. And it took me probably three or four years after, of not working, before I really got into a sleep pattern. And it got very good. It's just recently that I've had so much going on. And because, this is a therapy session, everybody that's listening. And because my husband goes to work, to bed so early. I'm not going to bed at 9, 9:30. So I tend, if I I'm not watching TV, then I'm going to be on my computer. It's like there's there's no non-blue light in my life. Even with all the filters on the machines that dim it, it's still there.
Martin Furber 6:17
Well, in the true solution-focused way I think you've already found your own answer that because you've already mentioned it. Why don't I read a book? I used to read a book and fall asleep, and no blue light.
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:28
And I have tonnes of books I could read.
Martin Furber 6:30
Yeah, or you could buy some more.
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:32
A bit of fun. Not trying to study at night, either. I don't need that.
Martin Furber 6:36
Yeah, it's got to be something that you like to immerse yourself in.
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:41
Right, right. Anyway, I promise to do better. You could check with me next week. It is, it is true. When clients come to me. The second session, they almost always say how much better they're sleeping.
Martin Furber 6:57
Yeah, you give people a recording to listen to at night don't you?
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:59
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Martin Furber 7:00
Same here. Yeah, that helps. But if somebody's coming with sort of a long term sleep issue, for whatever reason, even with a nighttime recording, yes, that will help the process. But you know, they may need some extra work on top of that. For example, you know, what the causes of it are, if it's stress and anxiety that has built up. We all know stress can build up slowly over a period of time.
Denise Billen-Mejia 7:28
I find very few people come to me and sleep is the first thing they talk about. I think it's just so common for people to be sleep deprived that they almost negate it. So they'll come and say they're getting headaches, they'll come and say they're feeling really stressed at work, they'll come and say they're having panic attacks. And it isn't until the second session when they say how much better it is that they recite. It's like you stop hitting yourself over the head, asll of a sudden the pain's gone. Amazing! I think that's the problem. We are beginning, I believe, to pay attention to those aspects of our health. But for so long, particularly in the US, it's like, you aren't worth anything if you're not working. Physically at that moment, we don't take very many vacations.
Martin Furber 8:15
I was just going say to say you don't take the holidays that we get over here. Is paternity leave even heard of over there?
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:23
Very few places. Some, I know that paternity leave is given in Delaware. Okay. Because my a couple who live on the next street had a baby a year, February. And the mother who works in Maryland had two months off for maternity leave and her husband had four months off for paternity leave well paid.
Martin Furber 8:48
Yeah, yeah. Wow. Cool about time.
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:51
Yeah, but she who actually produced said child got two months
Martin Furber 8:58
Yeah. Wow. Wow.
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:01
And so those those kinds of things. We only did standard vacation time for, you know, regular people is two weeks a year. We do get about one federal holiday a month approximately, there's some months you get to and so much you don't get any but it's about 12 a year. But not everybody. If you work in a shop, you're not going to get that time.
Martin Furber 9:23
Because shopping is a leisure pursuit, isn't it these days? When it's a holiday shop workers are always working.
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:28
People want to go shopping. Yeah. So those things, and just in general, Americans have burned the oil at both ends of the candle, on both ends from the midnight oil, burning the candle at both ends. Don't mix your metaphors Denise! Yeah.
Martin Furber 9:44
So then I would hazard a guess you know, this is you know why, one of the reasons why he got such a big obesity problem over there because, you know, if you don't sleep well, you can overeat. And if you don't sleep well, your body isn't healing. It's not processing, it's not digesting properly.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:02
Cortisol levels up!
Martin Furber 10:04
Yeah, Cortisol levels up. I mean, I say it, you know, everything starts with a good night's sleep. And it does, it's like you say, you get clients coming to you with a headache. It's like, well, yeah, actually your headache's probably because you're not sleeping so good.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:18
Right?
Martin Furber 10:18
Well, they don't realise that until they start sleeping better.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:21
Yeah, well, or they're blaming their headache, the lack of sleep on the headache.
Martin Furber 10:25
Then you're in that vicious cycle? Yeah. You know, it's like, well, if you came to you, right at this moment, what would you advise you to do?
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:37
I'd tell me to really enjoy my holiday, which is before this is going to be aired, but after we're recording.
Martin Furber 10:46
Yes!
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:47
Both of us actually are taking taking time off. Right at the end of August, which is shortly upon us. And, then we'll be starting our new you know, academic year, basically, in September, things will get busy again.
Martin Furber 11:00
Yeah, well, I'm going off on a plane for a couple of days. My first time on a plane for eight years. Can you believe it?
Denise Billen-Mejia 11:07
Oh, really? Yeah. It's a short flight?
Martin Furber 11:11
Just a short flight over to Belgium for the weekend.
Denise Billen-Mejia 11:14
You're going to be longer at TSA than you will be on the plane.
Martin Furber 11:20
Getting back, this is a hypnotherapy podcast, by the way, ladies and gentlemen.
Denise Billen-Mejia 11:26
It's not transportation. Okay, so. So do you ever see clients purely for sleep?
Martin Furber 11:32
Let me think. I don't think anybody's ever come to me and said, I need help with sleeping, and just that. No,
Martin Furber 11:35
But it has been an addition to whatever else. Yeah.
Martin Furber 11:37
Yeah, I mean, whatever people come to see me for my concern is getting their stress levels down. Because invariably, they're stressed, whatever it is, they come to see me for they're stressed, they're anxious. Maybe whatever else it is, they've come to see me for it has made them anxious. I.e. it's made them stressed. So yeah, their sleep will be affected. But part of what I explain to people about how our minds work is we need our sleep, everything starts with a good night's sleep.
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:14
You can cope with most things if you've had a decent night's sleep.
Martin Furber 12:16
Yeah, I mean, interestingly, when I get people who work shift patterns, and I mean irregular patterns, ie, a week of working six in the morning, till two in the afternoon, and then a week of working six at night till two in the morning, they can never get themselves in a nice, decent long term routine. You know, to my mind, I don't know you tell me what you think, it wouldn't be better if they just the permanent night six till two, or whatever that would be in stead of chopping and changing.
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:49
That was sort of why I did that, because I had to do a certain number of nights, but I siad just make me nights will make it easier. It did make it easier, because very few people want you to swap with them, because it means they're gonna have to work nights. But I would do sometimes six nights in a row, which is basically two weeks of work when you work 12 hour shifts, and then the off for prolonged time, but it was it would take you a full day to get back in sync with the rest of the world. And those days you are off if you're still sort of on a night schedule, unless you're living in New York City, which is the city that doesn't sleep anyway. You're here, who you're supposed to talk to? Yeah, you can, if you are constantly switching back and forth is very unhealthy. But really being up at night period is probably unhealthy. And unfortunately, there are a lot of jobs that you have to have. You have to have police officers, you have to have ambulance people, you have to have doctors and nurses and all the other things that go along with it.
Martin Furber 13:46
And you have to have people that work at night, able to feed them in their breaks.
Denise Billen-Mejia 13:50
Yes, all that yeah. This, I don't know if it's stood up to the test of time. But they used to say that you should ideally you would do a morning shift, evening shift a night shift. And then be off for several days, and then do the same thing again. So your body sort of progressed through that more naturally. But you still, if this were, you had the day off. Yeah. but you had a day off most of which you were asleep for, or at least not functioning terribly well. And then you start working again, you need several days off to be able to get back into sync.
Martin Furber 14:26
It would be like having permanent jetlag though,
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:28
When people are sleep deprived, they are as if they are drunk. And you don't have to be very sleep deprived to be affected. Obviously, they're not talking to you like it. They don't experience it in the same way. But your reflexes are slower. People get into more car accidents. And if it's really bad, they'll fall asleep. You've probably, as I have, had sleep deprived clients come to you to be hypnotised and you can't keep them there. They have to go to sleep. Yeah, they fall asleep in the process. Yeah,
Martin Furber 14:58
Yeah, that's it. I mean, the one thing I do find useful with clients who, you know, need help with sleep, amongst other things, is just the fact, just taking them into hypnosis the first, time they suddenly realise or remember they are capable of really relaxing and letting go.
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:16
And how nice it feels!
Martin Furber 15:17
Yeah, how nice it feels. Because that's the thing if you're stressed, if you're anxious, if you're blue lighted, when you go to bed, you're not going to go into that nice deep relaxation, you're not just going to breathe and let yourself drift off, are you? Perhaps without a little bit of training.
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:37
And I've had the training, I should be doing it.
Martin Furber 15:40
I know, but it's cobblers children. I mean, it's, it's about it's not just about hypnotising people to do things. It's about encouraging the healthy behaviour as well isn't it? You know, regular sleep routine pattern, a regular pattern of things before you go to bed. For some people, having a hot bath, can really unwind them and get them ready for sleep. And yet there's an argument to the contrary, isn't there about heating the body up just before bedtime?
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:08
Yeah, actually, I remember how we first decided we were going to talk about this. In the show notes, there is a link to another YouTube, which is my friend, Nisha Bhupal, who is a sleep doctor, she's a psychiatrist who specialises in sleep, speaking to an internal medicine doctor who is a sleep doctor and a hypnotist and they talk about hypnosis and sleep.
Martin Furber 16:35
Right. Okay.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:37
So people can listen to that one as well.
Martin Furber 16:39
Just for those of us that don't have a doctorate, what is a doctor of Internal Medicine.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:44
Internal Medicine is medicine, you know, when you're either a medicine person or a surgeon person. This is general medicine, but not family practice. They don't see children it's adult medicine.
Martin Furber 16:56
Right. Okay. Right. Okay with you. Yeah, it's not a term I've heard or registered before!
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:03
Yeah. I think you don't bother with it in Britain. We, here, a GP here would be family medicine here.
Martin Furber 17:11
Yeah. family doctor. Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:13
The difference being for most family medicine people they also have hospital responsibilities whereas GPs are outpatients.
Martin Furber 17:21
Yeah, but just based out in the field as it were. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So similar monitoring,
Martin Furber 17:25
huh? Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:27
I mean, that was a side that was a segue went somewhere weird.
Martin Furber 17:30
It was Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:33
Yeah, I think chop it out along with the coughing obviously.
Martin Furber 17:37
No, absolutely not. We're not chopping it out. No.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:39
Yes, that's another reminder to people. It's my early afternoon, it's his bedtime, we are five hours time difference.
Martin Furber 17:48
All right, but, okay, let's think of some of the things that can actually lead to people sleep difficulties that they may come and see us for. I'm thinking of things like, you know, those sort of negative thought patterns and beliefs that people can have about themselves that can prey on the mind when they get to bed.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:03
Oh, bad day at work?
Martin Furber 18:05
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:06
Somebody, somebody's looking at you sideways, and you take offence. I mean, there's, there's so many things that trigger you that the person who is doing the thing doesn't necessarily mean, and they just might be having a really bad day too. And they'll say something and it just hits you wrong. And yeah, you're down the spiral, the spiral.
Martin Furber 18:26
what I always find fascinating with clients is when you explain to them, that the sort of negative side of our brain, the primitive side, is designed to see everything in the worst possible case scenario. That's what it's designed to do to protect us.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:41
That is very much like my previous career. If you see a doctor, they're gonna think of the worst thing that it could be and they gradually move down. Of course, we have to, we need to know what is going to kill you. Before we look at whether you've got a stubbed toe. I mean, we're pretty quick at deciding it's just a stubbed toe, but you know, you have to think of the worst thing first and that is the way everybody you know, you hear a bang, somebody got shot No, no, that was a car. You run through this little pattern of what was that noise?
Martin Furber 19:13
But we do, we automatcally see everything from the worst case scenario. Just to segway again, though you've just said there the doctor will think of, you know, the worst possible thing it could be and then work backwards. And yet, over here in the UK when it comes to medication with NHS GPs, they give you the cheapest option first of all, if that doesn't work, then they'll give you something better.
Denise Billen-Mejia 19:33
Yeah, no, it should be I'm okay, this is definitely off. Off. This is not a part of hypnosis. Physicians everywhere are going to look for the cheapest way that's effective to deal with the issue. So they'll they'll take them the drug that works for most people unless they know particularly well, know that that won't work for you. So that's why you'll get amoxicillin and then wind up with some, you know, fifth generation version. I must defend to my former colleagues.
Martin Furber 20:13
The budgetary requirements given out by the government, that's what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about the skill of the doctor at all, I'm just saying that they are restricted. They've got to give you the cheap crap first.
Denise Billen-Mejia 20:21
Yeah, and it's the same thing here, though. Oh, well, first, before you can have a hysterectomy, and you clearly need, you have to have six months of birth control pills that you don't need, but we're gonna do it anyway. Yeah, it said, that is true everywhere. That's definitely not a hypnosis issue. Although if you're having pain associated with whatever that is, we may be able to help you in addition to a physician helping you.
Martin Furber 20:46
After it's been checked out by the doctor. Now that's interesting, actually, if somebody came to see you and said, I suffer with long term back pain. My doctor has given me painkillers for it, which give me good a quality, but when I get to bed at nighttime, then I can really feel the pain.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:05
Right?
Martin Furber 21:06
Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:07
So yes, one they should let the doctor know that that whatever they're giving them isn't working, which depends on why they have pain. But most definitely, with the doctor's blessing, I would help them with their chronic pain.
Martin Furber 21:17
Yeah, I mean, that's something I mean, if you've ever had toothache, you will know you cannot go to sleep with it. It's the worst. You know, one of the worst pains, ever.
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:28
Whatever, whatever the pain is you're having at the moment, that's the worst pain. If you've got a bad headache, earache, anything you can't get away from, you know, it's but hypnosis can help you get away from it, you can learn to ignore things you don't like. But first of all, you have to make sure that your pain response from your body, it's not telling you something very important.
Martin Furber 21:52
Well, yeah, it's usually there for a reason, isn't it?
Denise Billen-Mejia 21:52
Get to the emergency room. Well it is originally. But okay, got the message. Thank you very much. We can turn you off now. We'll deal with that in the morning.
Martin Furber 22:02
Yeah, I'm just thinking about the reasons why people would stay awake. While they would lay in bed and not be able to get sleep. Obviously, we said, you know, the...
Denise Billen-Mejia 22:11
Well there's the physical stuff, so we need to you need to turn off the light and you need to make sure you're not coughing because you forgot to dust under the bed and all those kinds of physical conditions. Are you eating too close to bedtime? Or are there other things if there's there's a lot of just general good rules that people should follow.
Martin Furber 22:34
What about somebody who you would perhaps deem or they would deem themselves, let's put it that way, as a worrier, saying they're fine until they get to bed and then they lie there worrying about, have I switched this off, have I...
Denise Billen-Mejia 22:43
When they don't have, they don't have anything else to distract them from being worried. So now they're in bed in the dark. All those thoughts can crowd in. Yeah.
Martin Furber 22:53
Yeah. Hypnosis can certainly help with that can't it?
Denise Billen-Mejia 22:57
Absolutely. But again, they should check with their doctor because they may have a 'seriouser' or more serious! What kind of English is this?! They might have a more serious complaint tot. There are some some anxiety conditions that require medication, not just the physical.
Martin Furber 23:15
Yeah, it is good. When we show our human side, isn't it?
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:22
I have a lot of that.
Martin Furber 23:27
But it is, I can say, I say to every single client, everything starts with a good night's sleep. It absolutely does. And I know it's one of those old fashioned expressions, you know, and it's the same with so much to do with our mental wellbeing and wellness, isn't it? Our overall well being. It's always the old fashioned things. Eat well, get a good night's sleep, decent food, regular meals.
Denise Billen-Mejia 23:52
Allow your body to heal itself.
Martin Furber 23:54
Yeah, yeah. And that's the other thing. Of course, if we don't sleep properly, we don't heal properly. That is, I think, people again, I like to give people an explanation what happens whilst we're asleep, our body heals, doesn't it? If you've got a cut on your hand, it does most of the healing, while you sleep.
Denise Billen-Mejia 24:16
It is also what's happening in your brain whilst you're sleeping. It's cleaning itself. It sounds very weird, but it truly is, is there's a surge of fluids that go through and clean out gets rid of all those little articles that just jamming up the works. You really do need a good five or six hours at an absolute minimum. Yeah. And your personal results may vary because some people need 9 or 10
Martin Furber 24:46
Yeah, yeah, some people do. But I always like to use computer analogies when I talk about the brain with people, and I always say it's like doing a defrag at night time. Do you remember when computers did that?
Denise Billen-Mejia 24:58
They still do with mine periodically.
Martin Furber 25:07
One analogy I like to give, is the fact that when we're sleeping, and we're in that REM sleep state, and we're dreaming, that's when we detach the emotion from our memories. And then we can just recall it as a narrative memory without all the emotion attached to it.
Denise Billen-Mejia 25:23
Which is a very useful thing to do for somebody who's suffering from the effects of bad memories and bad events.
Martin Furber 25:30
Yeah, yeah. Or even from the daytime. And, again, this is an analogy I always use. If you've had an argument with somebody at work, for example, over something, nothing too life changing, you know, let's say, there was an argument over who forgot to order the toner for the photocopier. Let's keep it something really bland like that. Okay. And you had a really big argument with them and you went home, if you got a good night's sleep, you'd get sleep it off. You'd file it away without the emotion you wake up the next morning thinking, maybe I overreacted a bit there. I'll go and take them for a Starbucks. Other overpriced coffees are available!
Denise Billen-Mejia 26:05
Quite likely. The argument wouldn't have happened at all, if both parties had already had a decent night's sleep and were dealing with their day in a regular way. Yes, you're gonna have unpleasant exchanges with people, but sleep is so essential for good health. And since the modality that we practice is called hypnosis, which means sleep, which is silly, because that's not what you're doing. But yeah, so I think that people should definitely go and listen to Nisha's video and listen, to I can't remember her name, it is so embarrassing. Completely blanked on the woman's name, but the physician who is...
Martin Furber 26:49
Is it on your other channel? is it on of your Myth Magic Medicine Podcasts?
Denise Billen-Mejia 26:53
No. But I will put it if you don't mind, I can put it on our page for the hour. I'll just put it as an additional recommended.
Martin Furber 27:04
Absolutely! Actually, I have to get round to listening to that myself. I do enjoy your other podcasts. You know, we're beginning to sound like one of those infomercials, you were talking about that you watch in the night.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:16
Lots and lots of practice.
Martin Furber 27:19
So I've got it down here on my notes. Some individuals may develop anxiety specifically related to sleep, fear of insomnia, performance anxiety.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:29
Yes, I can understand the not being able to sleep because they're scared they can't sleep.
Martin Furber 27:33
Hmm.
Denise Billen-Mejia 27:35
Are people actually frightened of sleep? Are they? Or is that, that little death thing? If they, well, that's something else. But is that fear of loss of control?
Martin Furber 27:47
It could be it could be. I used to have real problems sleeping years ago, but that was when I was grossly overweight and smoked very heavily, as well as they were the causes of it. Or you know, and the lack of again, that spiral. You know, the lack of sleep causes the overweight or the overweight causes a lack of sleep, who knows, but you need to get them both sorted out. But I did start to have a fear of going to sleep for quite some time.
Denise Billen-Mejia 28:18
Because you didn't think you'd wake up?
Martin Furber 28:19
Yeah, exactly that! Not a fear of dying, per se. I'm not frightened of dying, we all will do it. But it was just that fear of going to sleep thinking oh, I might just sort of gag or choke. Because if you remember, I've got some bad chest things and I would wake up in the night gasping for breath. Absolutely gasping and that sort of then gave me a bit of a fear of going to sleep and it was just basically before I sorted myself out. That was when it was at it's worst. You know, as things were getting worse in terms of weight. Yeah, it wasn't sleep apnea. But I would just wake up in the night gasping for breath. But I think that was the obesity. Yeah, I was bad. It was bad.
Denise Billen-Mejia 29:06
Hypnosis helped you with that, too? Did you notice? Did you notice your sleep patterns getting better as you dropped weight?
Martin Furber 29:13
Absolutely. I noticed, I mean, this was the thing, when with a lot of it with me, was self hypnosis. And this was where I learnt in the daytimes when I was practising and doing everything. It was like, wow, this is actually quite good. And then I would go to bed at night time, and I would look forward to going to sleep rather than being frightened of it. It was like yeah, I want to go into that nice state again. That nice, dreamy, drifting off, and being all at peace state. You know and not be frightened of waking up in the night gasping, but that was as the weight came off. I mean, it was a lot of weight to lose.
Denise Billen-Mejia 29:53
When did you do that? How much had you lost at the point where you realised that it was the weight?
Martin Furber 29:57
Probably about when I got rid of about three stone of it, of the 9 stone. So about 40 pounds.
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:04
So therefore, I that will be that will be my goal. So, that's a long time to wait because obviously the more you have to lose the faster it will come off initially, then it slows down. But how long did it take you to lose that first 40? I konw I'm asking a lot now, it's ways back.
Martin Furber 30:24
Probably about six months because I did it slowly, as opposed to all of the crash diets I had done in the past.
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:31
Yes, but it's still, as I said it comes off faster at first. I don't mean you lose 10 pounds a week. But it was faster at the beginning because it's a percentages thing.
Martin Furber 30:39
Yeah. I mean, I can't remember the exact point where all of a sudden it was like, I started to look forward to going to sleep and waking up refreshed. Now that was something that I hadn't experienced for a lot of years.
Denise Billen-Mejia 30:53
Yeah. Did you have to? Did you go through a lot of dragging yourself out of bed in the morning? Sort of feeling or?
Martin Furber 31:00
Oh, yeah, I used to sort of get myself out of bed and it was like, literally 10 cigarettes and three cups of coffee before I could even speak to anybody.
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:14
That was a lot. It was a lot of abuse your body was taking?
Martin Furber 31:18
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I was terrible. Terrible with the cigarettes. Terrible.
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:23
When did you start smoking?
Martin Furber 31:25
When did I start? When I was I tried my first one when I was about 9 years old. But I started smoking properly. When I was about 14.
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:33
How did you get hold of one when you were 9 somebody just left them lying around or...
Martin Furber 31:36
You could buy them in the shop - it was England!
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:38
At nine?
Martin Furber 31:39
You could buy them in the shop. You just go in and say they're for my Dad, and then they would sell them you.
Denise Billen-Mejia 31:44
Oh! Okay.
Martin Furber 31:49
But I started smoking properly when I was about 14. And I was very quickly up to 40 a day. By the time I was 18. I was smoking 40 a day and then did basically all my adult life until I stopped, which was 2013.
Denise Billen-Mejia 32:07
That's a long time!
Martin Furber 32:07
So I was smoking for over 40 years. And I'm still paying the price.
Denise Billen-Mejia 32:13
But yeah, but you I mean, you are obviously much healthier than you were.
Martin Furber 32:19
I can walk four miles uphill, no problem. Yeah, absolutely different. I couldn't get up the stairs 10 years ago, literally couldn't get up the stairs without grabbing for my ventolin. Seriously.
Denise Billen-Mejia 32:32
And hypnosis helped him lose the weight.
Martin Furber 32:35
Yeah, hypnosis helped me lose the weight. It also helped me rearrange things in terms of setting healthier habits all round. Healthy lifestyle habits. Not just the sleeping, it was the weight loss, it was the smoking, it was everything.
Denise Billen-Mejia 32:50
We've rattled on enough.
Martin Furber 32:52
Yeah, yeah, that is what the show is always about though two hypnotherapists talking. And we go around in circles. And we repeat ourselves and we go off topic. And that's what it's all about.
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:02
All the time
Martin Furber 33:03
And we have a small, but beautiful and loyal audience. And thank you for watching another episode.
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:09
And that audience, should they be in need of hypnosis themselves. And sometimes hypnotherapist are in need, can contact either of us from the contact information below. Or just ask us for a reputable person in your area. We know a lot of people now!
Martin Furber 33:25
Yeah, we've got guests on this series as well. We'll have a guest on next week. Not sure who yet but we will have guests on this series, hopefully from far and wide like last time. we had from all parts of the States didn't we?
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:40
And UK and even Iran.
Martin Furber 33:42
Yeah, Iran as well, that's right. Yeah, of course. So yeah, I'm not quite sure who we've got lined up yet for this series, but we will have hypnotherapists from different areas of hypnotherapy in different areas of the world.
Denise Billen-Mejia 33:56
And they ramble a little less than you and I because we just talk to each other all the time. So anyway, that's what it's called two hypnotherapists talking, and we are...
Martin Furber 34:04
OK, see you on the next one!
Denise Billen-Mejia 34:05
Bye, bye
Denise Billen-Mejia 34:15
We hope you've enjoyed listening. Please remember this podcast is designed to give you an insight into therapeutic hypnosis, and is for educational purposes only. So remember, consult with your own healthcare professional if you think something you've heard may apply to you or a loved one.
Martin Furber 34:31
If you found this episode useful, you can apply for free continuing professional development or CME credits. Using the link provided in the show notes. Feel free to contact either of us through the links in the show notes. Join us again next week.
