Denise Billen-Mejia 0:07
Welcome to Two hypnotherapists talking with me, Denise Billen-Mejia in Delaware, USA.
Martin Furber 0:13
And me Martin Furber in Preston UK.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:16
This weekly podcast is for anyone and everyone who would like to know more about fascinating subject of hypnosis and the benefits that it offers.
Martin Furber 0:24
I'm a clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:27
I'm a retired medical doctor and consulting hypnotist.
Martin Furber 0:31
We are two hypnotherapists talking.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:34
So let's get on with the episode.
Martin Furber 0:35
Denise. We're finally back, series six. How are you?
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:39
Very well. Thank you, Martin. It's very nice. Both of us I think took the last weekend completely off. I had done a course out of Australia.
Martin Furber 0:48
Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 0:49
Completely on Australian times. It's starting at six o'clock at night and keeping going until five in the morning. And I said no, I'm gonna be off. I did answer any calls that came in. And it was like, Hi, can I call you when I'm conscious?
Martin Furber 1:04
Did you have trouble getting to sleep in the mornings and in the daylight?
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:08
Yeah, it wasn't really a problem because I was so absolutely exhausted. We can blacken the windows in our bedroom. So wasn't too bad. But you never get the same sleep when you're not sleeping at the right time. But you know, I would go to bed at around five or 6am and get up around midday, which isn't bad. If I was doing that at nighttime then that wou;dn't be bad at all.
Martin Furber 1:34
Did that bring back memories of when you were working in the emergency room?
Denise Billen-Mejia 1:37
Exactly. Yeah. And that was my concern like, oh dear, I can feel it's coming in at 10pm. If I'm not horizontal, I'm gonna be awake until 2. Which is good because I was supposed to be, I was supposed to be paying attention to this class, which is really good. It was surprising to me how many people on the call were also hypnosis is it wasn't a hypnosis call. It was a an entrepreneur call. Yeah. For a big, big ish organisation that has a large number of people in Australia, a large number of people in Europe and a large number of North America. So they usually do North American time. And they say they felt kind to the Aussies. And so they were all bright and sunny. And we were like, we're going to leave soon.
Martin Furber 2:22
So this was over three days?
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:26
Yes, most of the ones I've done a bit of a single day, and you'll recover quickly. But this, I needed proper time off. So I went to bed on Friday, and I got up and said, 'no don't feel like doing anything'.
Martin Furber 2:40
Are you fully recovered now?
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:42
I think so. Yeah. I seem to be awake, at last, but I think I'm awake now.
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:47
So what have you been up to whilst we've been off the air for almost two months/
Denise Billen-Mejia 2:51
Pretty much the same things. I do have the blog is moving along reasonably well, I do have to write one today for Wednesday. But yeah, pretty much the same thing. I've got my last batch of clients that came in in the early New Year. So wending down, and I'm just picking up new ones now. So do you have that seasonal, seasonal approach to?
Martin Furber 3:16
Well, I did this year, I had an exceptionally busy January, if you cast your mind back, was really busy in January. And not just not just New Year's resolution stuff sort of thing. Just, I don't know, people decided they were going to get the help they needed in January. So January, February, were really busy. March was the one for New Year's resolutions, people who've sort of veered away from them. I had a couple of people coming to see me in March who had set themselves a task of doing XYZ, as you say over there, in January, you know, New Year's resolutions, not stuck to them. And then they've come to see me to try hypnosis.
Denise Billen-Mejia 3:57
Was it mostly personal goals like weight? And sort of thing?
Martin Furber 4:01
Yeah, it was personal stuff. I don't want to say any more because or anybody to identify themselves? Yeah. Was it was to do with the the kind of usual personal goals we set ourselves at the beginning of the year. Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:01
Yeah, I have one of one of the people who joined, I think she was the first person that signed up in January, had to cancel and she's just re-upped, which is good because we've done all her intro stuff. So that's, that's nice. But yeah, I am very energised by this call I had with Australia.
Martin Furber 4:31
Good, you look energised and ready to go.
Denise Billen-Mejia 4:35
It's the red dress I don't wear it that often. But yeah, so what's the what's the main thrust of your work at the moment because you've you've got a lot more strings in your bow than I have. I'm just a hypnotist and occasionally cited alongside coaching. But what what's the main thing happening for you this year?
Martin Furber 4:55
Well, the main thing is still hypnosis isn't it, but nowI'm teaching as well to people. Because I've been lecturing first weekend in June for Solution Focused Training Academy. So I was delivering that via zoom to 50-odd hypnotherapists from all around the UK training hypnotherapists, delivering that module over the weekend. That was great. I really, really enjoyed that. But again, screen time on zoom nine hours of it, it tires you out, you need to think about your self-care when you've been doing that all day.
Denise Billen-Mejia 5:30
With me, it's because these are these are not wired, right. So I don't realise I've got them on most of the time until I take them off. And then I can feel them. It's so annoying. I need to take a proper, real, like half an hour to an hour without headphones on. Usually, usually during my week, I can do that because I just I schedule computer work, but it doesn't need me to listen. And this conference went on for nine to 10 hours straight. Um, we had we had lunch breaks, but they were 20 minutes.
Martin Furber 6:05
Oh, really?
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:06
Yeah. No, they were serious. You really got your bang for your buck. But it was also very nice because people are already exchanging emails and, and I've already been invited to another thing that's coming up soon.
Martin Furber 6:21
Okay, so Yeah, a bit of international networking.
Denise Billen-Mejia 6:24
Yeah, yeah. Well, the next one is American timezone. At least, it's middle of the day, so it works quite well, that one or two of the, of the people who organise are in Canada, some are down here some are elsewhere. So it was a nice group to be introduced to. And, and also to have so many people who understood that hypnosis is a real thing. Usually, if you really sort of out of your comfort zone, then they are too. So that was that was nice.
Martin Furber 6:58
Oh, well, it's always good to, when people reinforce the fact that you know, hypnosis is a very useful modality.
Denise Billen-Mejia 7:05
Right? For so many things. Yeah, it also got me I also got to I posed the doctor pose. Which actually, I don't push that very much, but people realised it, after I'd been talking for a while. And now that was nice as well, just a few of the coaches who use a specific technique of hypnosis with their clients, but they defer to other hypnotists, who they think need more work than that. There's a lot of confidence tricks that hypnotists can help you with, anybody who's listening. And some coaches have learned that particular thing that they will help.
Martin Furber 7:44
Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, there are lots of techniques, we can teach people currently, to improve their self confidence, especially coming up to something like an interview or a wedding.
Denise Billen-Mejia 7:56
Yeah, yeah. Those kinds of things. Yeah.
Martin Furber 8:00
So something else I've been doing over the last few weeks. Yeah, I've joined the over 60s Club, Denise.
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:07
Welcome to my world.
Martin Furber 8:08
Yeah. Yeah, free prescriptions and 10% off at B&Q on a Wednesday. I can't wait!
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:13
Are you going to rearrange your schedule so you can go? For the Americans, that's just like...
Martin Furber 8:21
Home Depot. Yeah. Yeah.
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:25
Anyway, um, what else are we going to be talking about? We should say something a little more. Well, what do we got coming up this this season?
Martin Furber 8:31
Well, it's Pride Month at the moment isn't it?
Denise Billen-Mejia 8:33
Well, that's something you would probably know more about that than me. But yes, it is. Yeah.
Martin Furber 8:40
It is. Yeah. Yeah. They seem to they seem to be making it June internationally, don't they? Even though the particular part of the UK I live in pride in Manchester has always been in August. August bank holiday weekend. I don't see that changing anytime soon. But I think a lot of the new places or places that are new to Pride, or holding Pride events seem to be centering those around June now. You know, because even the town where I live, my little tiny town is having a Pride this year.
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:20
Because for the American market, everybody's on vacation now. School is out pretty much across the country. In June Yeah. Some finish in May, they go back earlier.
Martin Furber 9:33
Okay.
Denise Billen-Mejia 9:34
That is the biggest difference is that nobody gets away scot free until July in Britain. So that would make it more difficult I would imagine. But just to have the big events, you have to find space in the weekend where you can do things in the week, for holiday time.
Martin Furber 9:52
Well yeah, because June is also like sort of festival season or the start of it, all the rock festivals and that kind of thing. Whereas end of July, August, people tend to be away. That's, you know, because it's a school holiday. So that's when families take their trips away, without the risk of getting fined, because they get fined over here now, if you they take their children out of school in term time for holiday.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:14
You can educate your own children can you not?
Martin Furber 10:17
Yeah, you can, you can do homeschooling, but you can't sort of say, I'm gonna homeschool my child for the next two weeks and take them on holiday. It's a process you have to go through if you want to.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:26
Oh, I know. You have to get permission. Yeah. Do you have to have a good enough reason? They don't consider it a good enough reason?
Martin Furber 10:34
To take your child out of school?
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:35
I can't get time off for a vacation during the summer.
Martin Furber 10:39
Yeah. I don't think they'll accept that as a as a reason, or everybody would use that.
Denise Billen-Mejia 10:46
Yeah, yeah. I mean, depending on where you're going to, if you've gotten the opportunity to take your child to Hong Kong, or Australia or somewhere, I do think that that would be considered an educational enterprise.
Martin Furber 10:57
Yeah, I mean, I can remember when I was at school, rather a long time ago now. A girl had, I think, two months off school to go and stay with family in America and then come back.
Denise Billen-Mejia 11:13
Oh, but probably, if it was during the regular school year, she would have been able to go to her cousin's or whoever, for school?
Martin Furber 11:24
I have no idea what happened.
Denise Billen-Mejia 11:26
She might have been missing grandparents, and not had access to the school system. Anyway, let's get back on theme. What do we have coming up?
Martin Furber 11:34
What do we have coming up? Well, we've got quite a few interesting guests, so far this series to begin with.
Denise Billen-Mejia 11:39
We're not going to commit to times because we never know exactly what's happening. There will be. There will be a podcast every week. But it may be us. And it may be a guest.
Martin Furber 11:54
We're going to mix it up this year, this year, in this season. And what have I got coming up. I've just been really busy with working face to face in the two different clinics, one in Blackburn one in Preston, then teaching hypnotherapy as well, and of course, delivering the mental health first aid courses. So my diary is really full. But I'm feeling particularly energised at the moment, as I say, having a few days off for my birthday weekend, did me the world of good. And, of course it's summer, I always feel better in summer.
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:28
Yes, yes, Portugal must have been really good for you.
Martin Furber 12:35
Yeah, what have you got coming up? What have you got on the horizon?
Denise Billen-Mejia 12:39
Ah, I've got a new batch of clients coming up. One of whom I'm gonna hop off of this and go and meet with a new client. The blog is coming along nicely. Every every two-ish weeks. I'm not gonna beat myself up. But there'll be a new one this Wednesday. Yeah, mainly that and of course of this big meeting out of Australia. I'm also part of a large group of people that refer to each other and get tips from each other and help each other. So as basically a large small business group that is worldwide, which is really nice. You should come to the next meeting.
Martin Furber 13:20
Maybe I will, maybe I will. I'll tell you something that just occurred to me actually. Something I've been helping an increasing number of people with using hypnotherapy. And it may not be the kind of thing people usually think of or associate with hypnotherapy, bereavement.
Denise Billen-Mejia 13:41
Oh, yes.
Martin Furber 13:42
I've had a number of clients in recent weeks all for the same thing. I just wondered what your thoughts were on that. Do you deal with a lot of really, you know, loss and grief?
Denise Billen-Mejia 13:54
Not a lot. But I've had a couple but you did right at the beginning. One of your early clients was a woman who lost her daughter.
Martin Furber 14:01
Yeah. Yeah. That was right at the very beginning. And nothing on that topic for a while, and then all of a sudden a bit like buses, they come in threes. Yeah, I think hypnotherapy is particularly useful for grief, for bereavement, and for helping to cope with all the changes that, depending on who was was last sort of thing, but it's not. You don't only think about it when you think about hypnotherapy is talking about things and what they do. We think of hypnotherapists for, Oh, we want to quit smoking, we want to lose weight. We want to feel better, or we want to feel less anxious.
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:39
Or get over stage fright.
Martin Furber 14:41
Yeah, stage fright. But we don't. I don't usually think of it as something for bereavement and yet it seems to be popular.
Denise Billen-Mejia 14:51
Do you have criteria? Do you have criteria for your clients? Like, you can't expect to be over that, you never, for a start, if you've lost a loved one, you're never over it. They're always not there anymore. Yeah. You get you've got to allow yourself a good six months to be sad, not paralysed. But that first year is always hard.
Martin Furber 15:14
Absolutely. Well, I've said this before, and you have in private conversations about when it's that first year after losing somebody, you always remember what was happening on that date the previous year with them, whether it was Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, or any other number of holidays. Yeah, so that first year is always a hardest but, even. I agree with what you're saying, You gotta give it a minimum of six months and stop feeling sad. But even during that six months, you could perhaps cope with the sadness in a better way.
Denise Billen-Mejia 15:45
Yes, it certainly could. But I think I'm big on managing expectations. Yeah, you have to give stuff its proper place in your life. And it is okay to feel sad, because sad things have happened.
Martin Furber 15:58
Yeah, yeah, of course it is. But it's, as I say, we can still cope with that period. Can't we better or even when we have things that we have to do during that period, depending on who it is we've lost, and there are certain things that we need to be getting on with, hypnotherapy can help somebody with that, perhaps?
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:17
Right, with any loss? Actually. This is true. Is there any other words of wisdom you want to give people?
Martin Furber 16:25
Not on this episode, I thought we'd ease people in gently and just introduce ourselves back into the series in case people have forgotten who we are Denise.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:35
We did take a long break this time, longer than usual.
Martin Furber 16:38
I think we needed to, I think we needed to.
Denise Billen-Mejia 16:40
I think, I think you should just explain that we haven't been sunning ourselves on the beach. What have you been up to what we've been quiet? Because you have been up to a lot.
Martin Furber 16:48
Well, what have I been up to? I'm delivering lots of mental health first aid courses delivering another course that was specifically for mental health and older people in Lancashire, and delivering that everywhere. And then I've been training new people to be hypnotherapists been part of a training group training group. Yeah, I'm going to be seeing lots of clients, I have been really busy clients. What else? I've been getting older.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:18
Yeah, I think most of us have been doing that. And not necessarily with a prize at the end of it.
Martin Furber 17:23
Yeah. I've been through a rather strange time trying to get my eyesight sorted out. So look out in about two episodes, time for some new specs.
Denise Billen-Mejia 17:35
Good point. All right. So actually, we can tell that we're recording again tomorrow, so it won't be coming out the next day. But we're ahead of the game now. We've got people lined up and there will be a Sunday.
Martin Furber 17:58
We'll catch you on the next one.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:00
All right. See you soon. Bye.
Denise Billen-Mejia 18:11
We hope you've enjoyed listening. Please remember, this podcast is designed to give you an insight into therapeutic hypnosis, and is for educational purposes only. So remember, consult with your own healthcare professional if you think something you've heard may apply to you or a loved one.
Martin Furber 18:27
If you found this episode useful, you can apply for free continuing professional development or CME credits using the link provided in the shownotes. Feel free to contact either of us through the links in the show notes. Join us again next week.
