[00:00:00] Martin Furber: Denise, we're back series seven.
[00:00:04] Denise Billen-Mejia: Yeah, it's pretty, pretty wild. Anyway. That's good. Are you, beginning to feel very settled as an established hypnotist now and podcaster?
[00:00:13] Martin Furber: Uh, yeah, very much so, very much so. It's been an eventful few months, hasn't it?
If people are wondering where we've been, it's because we've been getting this series in the can before we launch it.
[00:00:23] Denise Billen-Mejia: Exactly.
[00:00:24] Martin Furber: So we don't get interruptions.
[00:00:25] Denise Billen-Mejia: And putting out all the
other little fires that go on when you have a business.
[00:00:30] Martin Furber: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, we've, we've both had lots going on.
Haven't we?
[00:00:34] Denise Billen-Mejia: And mine's not again. 2025 is going to be busy.
[00:00:39] Martin Furber: Yeah. Yeah. I can, I can well believe it. I mean, there's so much going on in the world as well, all over the place. But, uh, yeah, so we're back for series seven. What do we got lined up? Well, we've got a load of guests lined up, haven't we?
[00:00:52] Denise Billen-Mejia: Many of them have already spoken with us.
[00:00:53] Martin Furber: Yep, we have, we've got them, we've got them in the can, so what are we going to talk about?
[00:00:59] Denise Billen-Mejia: More of the same I expect, but just what we do in our business.
[00:01:02] Martin Furber: Yeah, okay, what have you been doing?
[00:01:04] Denise Billen-Mejia: How about, how about, well I was going to say, why don't you, you've had a pretty exciting day, you're also now becoming a fairly proficient teacher.
Why don't we talk about that for a while?
[00:01:15] Martin Furber: Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well, well, as you know, I do the mental health and wellbeing training. So I train people to be mental health first aiders, as part of my sort of rapport throughout Lancashire. But today usually I teach it to adults. Usually I train adults to be mental health first aiders.
Today I was training college students, which over here in England is 16 and 17 year olds. A level students before university. So I was teaching a classroom full of those today. Which was rather fun. I, I really enjoyed it. They were brilliant.
[00:01:48] Denise Billen-Mejia: Were
they like, were they like your fellow pupils when you were a student?
Or were they very different?
[00:01:52] Martin Furber: No, they were far better behaved.
[00:01:54] Denise Billen-Mejia: How
old were you when you left school?
[00:01:57] Martin Furber: Sixteen. All the way
[00:01:58] Denise Billen-Mejia: through sixteen, yeah.
[00:01:59] Martin Furber: Yeah, I left at sixteen after doing my O Levels, as they were called back then.
[00:02:03] Denise Billen-Mejia: Right. I went to college to do my O Levels as well as my A Levels.
[00:02:07] Martin Furber: Yeah.
[00:02:09] Denise Billen-Mejia: Local. Tech.
Place. Oh. So what were you teaching these people specifically?
[00:02:16] Martin Furber: Oh, well, in the morning they were doing a mental health awareness course. So it teaches people how to be mental health aware specifically for younger people. So this was how they could look out for signs of poor mental health in their peers.
Basically, and it covers a lot of the basic conditions and it covers something called the mental health continuum. because obviously, you know, in years gone by people, it was assumed you're either mentally ill or you weren't. Well, of course, these days, they tend to work around a quadrant rather than a Flatline as it were.
So teaching them that teaching some basic, uh, symptomology to look out for. Even though of course you don't teach anybody to diagnose anything. It's
[00:02:58] Denise Billen-Mejia: But be aware if there's an issue
[00:03:00] Martin Furber: It's good to be aware of signs and symptoms. So you can, you know, have a conversation, signpost, et cetera. So I was teaching them that in the morning. And then in the afternoon we were doing Part of the Living Works International Programme, Safe Talk, Suicidal Alertness for Everyone.
So again, it's the whole idea is that it helps create suicide safer communities and people know how to look out for possible signs of suicidal thinking. And again, how to keep that person safe whilst you Try to arrange them to make a connection with a keep safe connection, somebody who can help them further along the line as it were.
[00:03:38] Denise Billen-Mejia: I don't know that there's an answer to this, but how do you see that work combining with the work you do as a hypnotist? Do you see many people who are feeling that unhappy?
[00:03:50] Martin Furber: Not as a rule, no, usually they're perhaps on the, their journey of recovery already when I get to see them. Quite often, I mean, I think you find this as well, don't you?
That a lot of people come to hypnotherapy as a last resort after they've tried everything else.
[00:04:06] Denise Billen-Mejia: Yes.
[00:04:07] Martin Furber: Yes.
[00:04:08] Denise Billen-Mejia: A lot of people do that. We've got to do something about getting more visible to people so they travel further, further back in the train, which is why I reach out to doctors and try to get them too.
Yeah. Mention it or have a poster in your office.
[00:04:21] Martin Furber: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, I find this time and time again, with other therapists I speak to, quite often people have tried everything going, maybe they've had a medical intervention, maybe they've tried CBT, maybe they've tried counselling, for example and generally they will try hypnotherapy as a last resort when everything else hasn't been successful.
Rather than trying it as a first option and so often, I dare say you hear this as well, but so often I hear I wish you'd have found about, about this first.
[00:04:52] Denise Billen-Mejia: Right. Yes. Well, that's how, that's how I felt about it in my career choices too.
But this is what we got. Yeah.
[00:05:04] Martin Furber: So how does it fit in? Well, you know, it's all linked, isn't it? Mental health, wellbeing looking after ourselves, taking care of ourselves. It, it, it all links in nicely. But of course, I mean, I suppose that the, the way it fits in best of all is the fact that, you know, prevention is better than cure, isn't it?
So you're teaching people about wellbeing, about self care. about looking after themselves in the first instance,
[00:05:30] Denise Billen-Mejia: notice when things are going wrong.
[00:05:31] Martin Furber: Yeah. Yeah. To sort of check in with yourself to be more self aware. And I mean that in the sort of, in the literal sense, rather than, I don't know about in America, but over, over here, if we say somebody self aware, it could be used in a sort of derogatory way, as in they're conceited.
[00:05:48] Denise Billen-Mejia: They
only think about them. Yeah.
[00:05:52] Martin Furber: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, is it the same over there, that sort of phraseology?
[00:05:57] Denise Billen-Mejia: No, because we're told so constantly to check in with ourselves.
[00:06:00] Martin Furber: Right. Okay.
[00:06:02] Denise Billen-Mejia: It's very, I don't think it's considered derogatory. Certainly there are people who are big headed. There's a lot of pig headed, more than big, but yeah, I mean, it is, so that isn't a problem all over the world.
You have to, you have to be aware enough about yourself to be able to communicate effectively with other people. Okay. Yeah, it's interesting.
[00:06:24] Martin Furber: It is, but sort of being aware of what triggers us. I mean, put it this way, we can all be in a lovely state of mind. We can perhaps be watching the television or just, I don't know, just chilling, enjoying a family evening or whatever else we do.
And then something can happen, we might hear some bad news, we might see something bad on the television, or somebody may particularly say something, and we will suddenly react or overreact even.
[00:06:57] Denise Billen-Mejia: Right, well certainly
so that the person watching it can appear to be overreacting.
[00:07:01] Martin Furber: Yeah.
[00:07:02] Denise Billen-Mejia: But it's because it's triggered something from your past, so.
[00:07:05] Martin Furber: Yeah. Yeah, or recent past. I think being self aware means being aware of the things that trigger us, doesn't it?
[00:07:12] Denise Billen-Mejia: Yes. It's a good idea to have some idea of where your points are.
[00:07:17] Martin Furber: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So, you said 2025 is going to be busy. What have you got planned?
[00:07:24] Denise Billen-Mejia: I've got quite a few things on the slate.
I'm going to do a TED Talk. It's not firmed up yet. Yeah. But I'm in the process of writing it and getting that honed in. I don't know that TED, TEDx of course, not the TED, but TEDx talks are staffed entirely by volunteers.
[00:07:45] Martin Furber: Yeah,
[00:07:47] Denise Billen-Mejia: I mean, that's a lot of responsibility really. It's a, it's a big thing for people.
But the each, each person, each organization that's putting one on has a particular spin for it. So you have to be able to justify putting your talk in their spin. So I have to go and research which one I'm going to write for. But that is, and also of course, the book. I started writing a book last summer.
So, yeah.
[00:08:15] Martin Furber: Yeah, well, you've not told our viewers and listeners about it really, have you?
[00:08:18] Denise Billen-Mejia: Well, I haven't told many people about it, probably because I haven't actually done very much yet. Other than, I have a series of things I do in order to write it. It's, it's not, it's so much harder than you thought it was going to be whenever you actually started.
I mean, some parts are very easy to write. It's easy to write about why particular techniques are chosen for, you know, But it's not an instructional book. The point of it is to let doctors be more aware that hypnosis is there and you could reach out to a hypnotist and have them help your patients which I'm hoping will help because it's I told you before we got on air that Judith, my physician friend in New York.
She talks about hypnosis a lot. She's about to have surgery. So, I'll be talking to her about things that she could do that may help her recovery and and the process but it was quite, it was lovely. It was such a lovely surprise. I was sitting down to do something that you know, those tasks that you have to do and you think, uh, Yeah.
She, rescued me. I could talk for 10 minutes with her and then I went back to it. Slightly more encouraged.
[00:09:30] Martin Furber: Okay. Yeah. So what else have you been doing unusual or different from the norm lately?
[00:09:35] Denise Billen-Mejia: Not, I don't think very different. I haven't got that many clients of the most tends to happen in December for all of us.
The, the, you either get people are dead tailspin panic about Christmas and you need to help them with that. Or They say, I'll talk to you in Jan, I actually got somebody who booked a call in January.
[00:09:57] Martin Furber: Okay.
[00:09:59] Denise Billen-Mejia: On the 1st of December, she booked a call in January, not because I was, you know, no, no time. Because she wants to start working on this issue next year as part of her resolutions, I'm assuming.
[00:10:09] Martin Furber: So she's already set the resolution ready then, ready for January start. Yeah.
[00:10:13] Denise Billen-Mejia: January
2nd, I'll be talking to her. And and I've just had another person who's contacted me. Apparently hasn't been to my web She wrote to me, an email to me, and I It got sort of stuck in the usual I don't know about your email list, but mine just goes crazy this time of year.
People trying to sell me things, people trying to send me cards, it just exploded.
[00:10:39] Martin Furber: Well, yeah, it sort of starts round
about Black Friday. All of a sudden you get about 200 emails a day. Yes, I get that.
[00:10:45] Denise Billen-Mejia: Yes,
that's exactly right. There may be more than 200, but anyway she reached out and when I found it, uh, I wrote back and she's a few miles down the road from here.
I can't, I think she might, Assume we work face to face and of course most of my work is done online. Because honestly I think it's better. I think it means that they're in a comfortable. They feel comfortable already. They're relaxed. They're in their own home.
[00:11:09] Martin Furber: Mm.
[00:11:10] Denise Billen-Mejia: And they don't have to rush up and find a car and deal with all the traffic.
Christmas traffic. Oh my goodness.
[00:11:16] Martin Furber: Yeah. Well, I think though, these days people are far more willing to consider things online anyway, aren't they? You know, that's one big thing COVID did. It got us all online. It got us all used to zoom. There's, there's two trains of thought in terms of therapy. Yes. Like you say, people are in their own home.
They don't have to bother about the traffic that they're not in strange surroundings. And of course, if you're The same as I am. Do you insist that your clients use headphones or earphones?
[00:11:44] Denise Billen-Mejia: I tell them to do so if they've got them.
[00:11:46] Martin Furber: Yeah.
[00:11:46] Denise Billen-Mejia: I
don't make them go out and buy them.
[00:11:48] Martin Furber: Yeah. I, I insist that they do because then it becomes a really immersive experience.
You know, far more so than in the live therapy room.
[00:11:57] Denise Billen-Mejia: My, people usually have headphones because I've told them it's a good idea to use it with, because I send a recording a few days afterwards, I reach out and see how they, What sort of impact that first session has had on them and then after each session, a day or two later, they'll get something to continue.
So, I want to know whether they've had an impact from it, because you don't want to keep flogging a dead horse. If what you've done has already worked, then why would you keep going on about it and move to the next thing? So that's, it's very useful to have headphones for that.
[00:12:33] Martin Furber: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:12:35] Denise Billen-Mejia: Many people I see are married.
I don't imagine the person who's not being officially hypnotized, particularly wants to listen to me droning on.
[00:12:44] Martin Furber: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So in terms of therapy, I don't think there's any issue with people having it online and there's a lot of benefits to it. I mean, there are pros and cons, but there are over on balance.
There are a lot more benefits to doing it online than face to face.
[00:12:57] Denise Billen-Mejia: Well,
the main one for me that I think is that when the session finishes, they don't have to re engage their conscious mind. They can sit there and just vegetate for a little while and let those thoughts, settle in.
Exactly. Settle in. They don't have to
[00:13:16] Martin Furber: Yeah, they don't have to get in the car and drive
home then.
[00:13:19] Denise Billen-Mejia: Find the car. This is, can be crazy at the time.
[00:13:22] Martin Furber: Yeah. In terms of teaching though I'm finding people are wanting to get more and more back into the classroom face to face.
You know, I, I do both with the MHFA courses I deliver. I do both online and face to face.
[00:13:37] Denise Billen-Mejia: Well, and you're also teaching hypnosis.
[00:13:39] Martin Furber: Yes, that's all online that I do, but that's specifically because of the school I'm with, SFTA. They took me on specifically just to deliver the online courses. I don't teach face to face hypnosis.
[00:13:52] Denise Billen-Mejia: Is it because
they're too far away from you, or is it just
[00:13:54] Martin Furber: No, no, I just don't have the time. It would take up every weekend. So, and then, you know, as, as we frequently go on ourselves, you know, we, we need that time off, don't we? So I, I just do the online modules. I'm very, very happy with that. I enjoy it.
I get the best out of that. I do love teaching online, but as I say, more and more people are wanting the classroom now in terms of the mental health training that I do. I'm finding far more people requesting face to face courses than say a year ago.
[00:14:25] Denise Billen-Mejia: Yeah, they're more confident going out into the world.
[00:14:30] Martin Furber: Yeah, yeah.
[00:14:31] Denise Billen-Mejia: Do you have a new variant of the bug going around? We have.
[00:14:36] Martin Furber: Very probably,
very probably, but I'm all vaxxed up.
[00:14:42] Denise Billen-Mejia: We're gonna have a second, uh, a third, fourth. Fourth one now.
[00:14:45] Martin Furber: I was double vaccinated the other week, flu and COVID.
[00:14:48] Denise Billen-Mejia: Yes, they're doing them together here as well. I want them individually.
I usually get a reaction to the flu one. I won't confuse myself with which one's bothering me.
[00:14:59] Martin Furber: So this series, we've got quite a few returned guests,
haven't
we?
[00:15:04] Denise Billen-Mejia: I think
this is our check in session.
[00:15:08] Martin Furber: Well, it is because we've been going well over two years now with this podcast. So we did say, didn't we, it was good to get previous guests back.
So next episode, next week, episode two, we've got Les Roberts.
[00:15:22] Denise Billen-Mejia: Good.
[00:15:23] Martin Furber: Yeah. Les Roberts.
[00:15:24] Denise Billen-Mejia: She's
also been on my radio show, which is really nice.
[00:15:26] Martin Furber: So next week we've got Les Roberts on, and then the week after that it's you and I, but we've got guests right the way through, and there'll be no breaks in this series, which is why there's been a bigger break between these two series than usual, but we did, because of one reason or another, we had a few breaks in the middle of the previous series for the first time ever, because we both got incredibly busy and trying to fit our guests in at mutually convenient times with the time difference as well.
[00:15:51] Denise Billen-Mejia: Yes.
[00:15:52] Martin Furber: A little bit of an
issue.
[00:15:54] Denise Billen-Mejia: Sometimes we're talking to people who are further west than I am. Okay.
[00:16:02] Martin Furber: So it's great to let everybody know we're back and we will be running this entire series. So tune in next week for Les Roberts.
[00:16:09] Denise Billen-Mejia: Okay. Thank you very much.
[00:16:11] Martin Furber: All right. See you on the next one.
